Aphorisms and Tropes - January Daily Prompts
by sweeety
Summary: Continuation of my September prompts. Picks up right where that left off. Deals with pretty heavy stuff.
1. January 1

Emily stood before Paige's house. This was the moment she'd been waiting for. She'd scrounged up enough money for a flight to California to get to her, Paige having flown home immediately after being dismissed from the hospital. She was remotely irked by her absconding but she understood where she was coming from. After all that drama, the last place she herself wanted to be was Rosewood. She sighed contentedly as she eyed the building.

Paige's house, or rather, Paige's parents' house, was a sprawling Tuscan style Mansion, complete with manicured lawns, hedge rows, trellises and water fountains. Emily felt humbled by the grandeur of the estate. It looked like something you'd see in a home-care magazine or an episode of 'cribs'. She always knew Paige's family had money but never really realized just how much.

The building made her feel monumentally small. She realized then she had nothing to offer. Both in a physical sense, not having picked up any housewarming gifts on her way there, and in a broader sense, having nothing to offer Paige, besides her love. She can't promise that things are going to get better in the future, because history has taught her that that's a lie. Someway, somehow, things catch up to you and you're left fending for yourself and your loved ones all over again. It's a vicious endless cycle. The only thing she can promise is that she'll be beside her when that happens and that she'll fight with her. She'll fight FOR her.

She took a bracing breath, half ecstatic, half terrified, as she started gently rapping on the wooden panels of the front door.

It only took about a moment for Paige's mom to answer the door with a hopeful grin that faded all-too-fast when she realized who was standing there. As several years worth of seeing her daughter come home torn up because of the woman that stood before her, started to stir in her mind's eye, she tried to remain calm by reminding herself how much this woman meant to her daughter and out of respect refrained from giving Emily a piece of her mind. She stood instead, stalwart and stony, quirking an eyebrow up expectantly as she waited for the invader to state her business here.

"H-hi Mrs McCullers," Emily stuttered. She could tell from Paige's mother's demeanor that she was already off to a bad start. "I-is Paige in?" she inquired, kicking herself for stumbling over her words so carelessly.

The older woman seemed to hesitate a moment and steal the briefest glances towards the living room. A glance so quick that Emily almost missed it. There was something almost terrifying about the resigned way she answered "No" before shutting the door. Like she almost sympathized with Emily or felt bad for her in some sort of way. While the woman had never been her biggest proponent, she didn't exactly hate her guts either, but the way she responded had this somber finality that Emily felt like she couldn't challenge, even though she didn't believe her for a second.

Something was up with Paige, and whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

Emily was so scared that she was tempted to sneak into Paige's room and try to snoop around to figure out what was wrong. And she almost would have if Paige's father hadn't just come home from work and upon seeing her, tried to back out of the drive-way as quickly as possible, accidentally knocking over Paige's bicycle in the process.

"Mr McCullers!" Emily called out. Even though the cat was out of the bag, Nick stood firm and refused to respond to Emily's lecture.

"Mr McCullers, please, I've come all the way from Rosewood. I NEED to see Paige, wont you please let me see her, I'm begging you!" Emily tried, desperation showing in her voice. The older man was affected but there was nothing he could do for the girl. He picked his shopping bag out of the passenger's seat and marched up the driveway to his house, as steely eyed and stony faced as his wife. The only concession he did make was when he 'accidentally' handed her a small napkin from "Grégoire Restaurant" with a hastily scrawled pick-up reminder for 5:30pm on his way in. He gave her a meaningful look as her turned to close the door behind him. Even though his eyes were dry, Emily could tell he'd been crying and suffering many a sleepless night.

She nodded her understanding as the door was once again shut in her face and while she felt frustrated and there was a substantial ache in her general heart area, she had at least a little hope for her presumed meeting tomorrow, with Mr McCullers, at the restaurant.


	2. January 2

AN: I wrote most of this a couple of days ago but I was too preoccupied to finalize and upload it. Sorry for the delay. Will be playing catch up thanks to family obligations but I'm not worried about finishing this story in time.

It all started coming back to Paige the moment she woke up in that hospital. Not all at first, just flashes and fragments of memories.

The flashes were quick.. a whisper or a flash of blonde before the darkness. Always darkness. She remembered the cold, empty darkness the most vividly. A dark so permeating it seeped through every pore of her body making her question whether she was really there, or whether the darkness had consumed her. That's the only thing she could remember at first.

Then the memories got longer. Words turned into sentences and into conversations. The darkness was stripped away bit by bit, replaced with the terrible truth and Paige shuddered as she realized that she preferred the dark.

Now the truth was out there and there was no more hope. No more pretending. The scans and tests all proved Alison right. She really did it.

That's when she realized that the darkness didn't leave. It seeped through her pores and settled inside her. The darkness was now inside of her. She was the darkness now. And everything she touched would be darkened as well. That's why she had to go.

Her mother and father picked her up from the airport. She didn't have many belongings with her but what little she did bring to Rosewood, she asked her friends to gather up and mail to her. She would've done it herself but she didn't want to spend any more time in Rosewood than she had to. So she boarded the first flight West, and even though she had to make two connections, she was happier than waiting around for a more direct flight. The moment she was discharged from the hospital she just grabbed whatever belongings she had with her and boarded the first flight she could find.

Though she knew better, some part of her hoped that if she put some distance between herself and the place it happened, she could maybe regain a sense of normalcy in her life. At the very least she hoped the dreams would go away..

She wasn't awake during this. She was sure she wasn't. But since finding out about it, every time she falls asleep she finds herself in a gurney, being transferred from room to room in that filthy pit she was taken to. She is strapped down and muzzled and all she can really catch is glimpses of these long hospital lights as the gurney passes under them. Sometimes she's not even in the gurney, but rather floating just a little ways away, watching it all transpire. She saw herself being pushed into a great big surgical theater, where a man whose face she couldn't see, hoisted her up onto an operating table.

She would watch, muted, invisible, and unable to defend herself, as she was hoisted on this operating table...no...not table... it was a sort of a gynecological examination chair... she was dragged onto it, her arms bound by her sides and her legs were lifted onto the leg supports and separated. Then she'd watch Alison, in a candy striper uniform, saunter in brandishing a turkey baster.

She'd wake up screaming and crying after that. The last thing she'd remember was Alison's evil smirk. It was imprinted in her memory, like a tattoo. Though with time, money, patience and a lot of pain, you can erase a tattoo. Paige wasn't so sure she'd ever forget that smile.


	3. January 3

Emily spent the night tossing and turning in a cheap motel bed. She finally decided to give up on her futile attempts at dreaming at around 5 in the morning. She freshened up and booked it to an all-night diner where she languidly watched the minute hand on the wall clock crawl at a snail's pace, while she downed coffee after coffee, chasing it up with the slice of pie her moody waitress brought her after her third refill. It was on the house. Emily appreciated the gesture but couldn't quite manage to get the day-old slice down. She could barely keep the coffee down thanks to her nerves.

When enough time had passed she paid her bill, leaving a generous tip, and walked back to her motel room to take a shower and try to find another way to kill time. Time trickled by impossibly slow. She found herself angrily swearing at it the moment she stepped out of the shower and realized she'd spent far less time in there than she anticipated. Exasperated, she dialed the first number that came to her head.

Spencer picked up on the third ring.

"Call me to gloat about your perfect love life?" she mocked in a barely masked scathing tone

"No, my love life is far from perfect actually..." Emily admitted

"What do you mean?" Spencer inquired, perking up suddenly, part of her hoping against hope that there may still be a chance for her

"Something is wrong. I don't know what, but something is way off. Paige wont see me, she wont talk to me, nobody's telling me anything. And I saw her parents. I could tell that something was really wrong. They were so different. I think something bad happened."

"Something bad DID happen, Em, she was kidnapped by a maniac!"

"I know, but I mean, other than that, I think that something went down. Something she's not telling me."

"How do you know?"

"I don't really know for sure but it's just a hunch I suppose. Everything's so messed up." She sighed, feeling the weight of the last couple of months of drama drag her down.

"I know, but Em, listen, if anyone can figure out what's going on with Paige it's you. You guys have something special." She choked out, barely audible.

"Spence, you don't have to say that."

"It's true though. You're the one who got her to come out of the closet. To even acknowledge that she was gay. What role did I play in the grand scheme of things? I'm just a doorstop in her history."

"Spencer, that's not true, and you know it."

"Yes it is. And I'm fine with that. Or at least, I'll learn to be. I have to. Now listen if it's alright with you I have to go. I've got a thing..." she lied.

Emily knew when to give Spencer space so she let her friend go, even though she could tell her excuse was a lie. She knew her friend better than anyone else. She knew that she still loved Paige and that letting her go was hard for her. If it was anyone else but Paige, she would have probably been the one to walk away but she couldn't walk away from Paige. Not again. Not this time. She walked away so many times before. By circumstance rather than choice. She knows how much Spencer was hurting because she'd been in her shoes way too many times.

Why did she even call Spencer in the first place? She knew it would be cruel and pain-inducing. That she was rubbing it in. But she needed someone familiar with Paige to assure her that she wasn't acting crazy.

She wonders now though whether it was the right thing to call her friend. Even if she felt slightly more assured, it didn't compensate for the guilt she now felt.


	4. January 4

"Good afternoon" Nick McCullers greeted Emily before sitting down with her in their prescribed booth. She waited outside that restaurant for an hour before he showed up. Apparently the lunchtime appointment was delayed by some meeting and he was in a rush to pick up their food and go so they had to postpone their meeting for a little while. Emily begged him not to make her wait another day so Mr McCullers agreed to meet her later that day, in the restaurant of her new hotel.

She'd not intended to stay in California long so she hadn't made arrangements in any hotel, but one night in that flea-ridden motel had her scrambling to book a hotel room. She managed to get a relatively cheap room at the Clarion hotel. It wasn't the best hotel around, but it did offer a pool and free breakfast and wifi. Emily considered the pool to be a symbol of good fortune. After all, it was swimming that brought her and Paige together in the first place. She loaded her bags in the rental car and moved across to her new room, unceremoniously dumping her belongings on her bed before hurrying to meet Paige's dad, half an hour before their arranged time.

"Good afternoon, Mr McCullers." Emily answered anxiously.

"I trust your stay has been fine."

"It has." Emily answered, frustrated. They were not getting anywhere like this and she was dying to know so she asked "Can we skip the formalities? Please? I just need to know she's okay."

"She is fine. Don't worry about her. She wouldn't want you to worry" the older man answered as he cast his eyes down trying to evade the girl's piercing gaze, pretending to read the menu.

"Then why wont she talk to me?" Emily beseeched him. "Why is she hiding out here and why did she flee Rosewood?"

"I think the answer to at least one of those questions should be obvious. As for the rest, it's not up to me to discuss that with you."

"Then help me get in touch with her, please!"

"You know how stubborn my girl is. If I let you in she'd have my head. I can't do that."

"Please, help me" Emily begged, frustrated, almost to the point of crying.

"I can't." Nick McCullers sighed, before shifting around and fishing something out of his pocket.

"Look," she began "I know you haven't been my biggest fan, and I know that it's my fault, and that I haven't given you a reason to trust me, but I swear, I love your daughter and if you let me, I know I can make her happy. I want to make things up to her. I will beg on my knees if I have to. I will do whatever it takes not to have to spend another moment without her."

"I think it's a little too late for that. But I would appreciate you trying." he smiled a half-hearted smile. The man looked exhausted and it took him several moments to come to his decision. He had to weigh his options carefully.

It's no surprise that after all the times she hurt his daughter, Nick McCullers pretty much hated Emily. He thought his daughter falling in love with her was some cruel trick. An unimaginable twist of faith. He had honestly panicked when his daughter came out, and not just because of what it meant for her, but also because he realized that with her being this way, now more than ever, she needed so much more protection. He hoped whoever she dated would help her out. That there would be some strength in numbers and somebody standing by her side when life threw digs at her, but Emily more than anything was the cause of Paige's turmoil.

He hated the thought that felt so intensely about the other girl because he knew that would only lead to trouble. His daughter had been reserved up 'til now and never really let other people in. She had her friends but never invested too much of herself but she dove head-first into this relationship and it scared him. High School relationships never last.

When Emily dumped Paige, she tried to act tough but he could tell that inside, his daughter was breaking. He knew all-too-well how it stung, having been rejected and dumped in his youth by other girls, but he also knew that when it came down to it, these girls were a dime a dozen. For Paige it would not be this way. There was maybe a dozen chances for her in their entire town for Paige. A dozen options. And when she exhausted them? Would she have to move town or hope and wait for the next batch of teens to out themselves? He knew that she couldn't just pick herself up and go out there and find another girl.

And Emily... she was so in love with Emily. While he did not like her herself, he loved the effect she had on his daughter. She would smile, giddily, just from thinking about her. She would ask them questions about love and how they got together and stay up with him planning beautiful romantic dates. She even promised to restore his sister's cabin if she let her use it to throw Emily a birthday bash. She spent a week stripping the exterior paint off the walls, repainting them, fixing loose tiles and repairing water damage and even cleaning the oven for good measure, just so she could make Emily happy.

If Emily even worked half as hard for Paige she would have won his approval. But the thing is, she never did. She was always so preoccupied with things. He knew now it was some stalker that was threatening her friends and her, but at the time he thought that she didn't respect his daughter enough. That she didn't care. But here she was, vowing to be there. To be present. Swearing that she loves his daughter. How can a man stand in the way of what may be his daughter's true love? Even if she expressly told him not only to curtail visitors but to also completely prevent Emily from ever seeing her. He had to do what was right by her, even if it was not what she wanted. He begrudgingly dropped his shopping list on the table, along with his spare set of keys. They would've been Paige's but she never leaves the house these days.

"She'll want these before bed. She's been binge watching some tv series before bed and that ice cream is part of her nightly routine." he said, pointing to the corresponding item on the list. "I've already bought the house necessities like the bread and milk, just pick up the ice cream from the garage on North California Street in Stockton. And grab her some jelly beans too while you're out there. She can never turn jelly beans down."

Emily wanted to hug the man but knew she'd be pushing her luck. She thanked him, tearfully as she basically ran out. He sighed, hoping he did the right thing, before calling his wife and inviting her out for dinner. He would play interference, granting Paige and Emily all the privacy they'd need. He just hoped it would be enough to get her out of her funk.


	5. January 5

A/N: I'm not 100% happy with this one. Might change it up a bit later.

Their meeting went better than she expected. She honestly thought she would just get kicked to the curb. She never expected Paige's dad to be so lenient. She still remembered his 'open door' rule. For the first time since getting to California she started to smile. Things were actually falling into place. Soon she'd have Paige in her arms and before she knows it, they'd be home again.

It took a few minutes for Emily to get her bearings in the palatial estate. The sprawling Tuscan style villa boasted several bedrooms, Emily stole a glimpse of a heated outdoor pool, and there was a beautiful fountain smack dab in the middle of the driveway. It was all very beautiful and homely, Emily thought, as she wandered down the hallways that would lead her to her goal.

Paige had dozed off in her bed while reading some lengthy novel, clad in a striped sweater and a pair of navy tights. Her hair -now shoulder length- had been tied up in a bun and her head was tilted backwards as she sat up in bed, snoring lightly as her fingers rested in between the pages of her book. She looked so beautiful to Emily... so peaceful. All she wanted to do was capture this moment and keep it forever safe so she pulled out her phone and took a sneaky picture of Paige.

Her phone was programmed not to make a sound or flash as she took pictures; a remnant of her pseudo-spy days running from A and trying to unmask her, so when she took the shot she didn't disturb the sleeping girl at all. She realized she was being creepy but there was something perfect about the way the afternoon light hit Paige's cheek that was just astonishing. Emily had never been much of an artist, and she cringed when she looked at pictures of herself, but she could fill a whole museum with the pictures she wanted to take of Paige, and gaze at them forever and not feel even a little bored.

She knew she was visiting on borrowed time however and as soon as the clock struck twelve her carriage would turn into a pumpkin so with a gargantuan effort she moved ahead and tentatively stroked the side of Paige's face, waking her up.

At first the poor girl thought this was a dream. She looked up at Emily and she smiled. "This is a new dream" she whispered as she reached up and pulled Emily into her arms.

Emily didn't want to take advantage of Paige but goddamnit the woman was irresistible. Now she understood Paige's temptation when she showed up at her door, drugged, all those years ago. She thought for a second about evening the score but decided against it. It wasn't worth further fighting with the other woman for just a moment. She was in it for the long run, not a quick cash out.

So when Paige pulled her towards her for a kiss she twisted her head up and placed a soft one on her forehead instead. It was enough to do the job and get Paige's eyes to flutter open, taking in the sight before her.

"I brought your snacks!" Emily tried, a cautious smile plastered on her face.

"You can leave them by the door on your way out" Paige replied, more stunned than angry.

"Paige, please talk to me"

"I have to go do a thing" she lied, stopping herself before she used the other girl's nickname. She avoided eye contact knowing what those eyes could do to her and rolled over to her side and then slowly started getting up. Emily attributed her strange movements to the kidnapping as she asked again. "Paige, please, just hear me out."

"I can't"

"Can't or wont?" asked Emily, frustrated, bitterly remembering a time that Paige had asked her the same question when she was equally unwilling to communicate.

Paige sighed. She knew it wasn't easy for Emily to come all this way. She didn't really expect it to happen. She figured she might at least let the other girl say her piece before throwing her out.

"Fine. What do you want, Emily?"  
"I want you! I always have and I always will. Please, give me another chance. I know I don't deserve it and I've been a jerk in the past and you'd think you're taking a gamble but I am in, 100% and I will do whatever it takes, please, I just want to be with you." she finished, so overcome with emotion she was nearly crying.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this. I can't be with you" Paige cried.

"Why?"

"I need to leave Rosewood behind, completely, and you're part of it."

"But, Paige-"

"I'm sorry Emily."


	6. January 6

Emily never asked for anything. Part of that was fear of rejection, but another, much greater part was her pride. There was something demeaning about having to ask for things. Like if she was supposed to have them, she wouldn't have to be asking for them. Asking for things felt almost wrong. Like she was messing with the natural order of things, and pushing and being selfish.

It wasn't Emily's style to push and beg for things. She had way too much pride. Her father was a war hero. Her mother was a proud woman. Emily had too much pride to beg. She wouldn't do it. But there was something about the way Paige said goodbye. There was this finality but also despair. If Paige really wanted her gone, she didn't show it. Emily knew better than to push and beg, but she also knew the other woman. She knew how much she loved her and the things she'd do for her. And she knew that if she asked, Paige would give her the world. So it made no sense for her to be asking for space... for distance... unless she HAS to.

Emily knew that Paige would never act like this. She knew that whatever was going on in Paige's life forced her to maintain her distance from the other woman. She knew that given the chance, Paige would run to her because she would do the same thing. They're soulmates. Emily truly believed this. They were meant to be together. After all this time, the universes aligned and brought Paige back into her life. So Emily refused to take no for an answer this time. She refused to be subdued.

"Paige. Stop. Whatever it is, we can get through it together." She assured her, looking right at her tear filled eyes.

"NO, we can't!"

"Yes we can. I'll be here for you, for whatever you need." She said, bitterly recalling that time Paige used those same words on her.

"Emily, you mustn't. I don't want you to."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to hate me. I don't want you to resent me."

"I could never do that"

"You might, if you stayed here."

"Paige, what's going on?"

"I can't tell you."

"Paige, seriously, you're scaring me. Are you in any danger? Is it A?"

"No. It's not... It's Alison."

"What do you mean?"

"She's the reason behind this. She's the reason behind everything."

"Are you saying that-"

"Yeah... Alison is A."


	7. January 7

Spencer was feeling a little under the weather today. She'd woken up sniffing and coughing but she was determined not to let that get in the way of her daily duties. She washed her face, put on a warm sweater and ate her breakfast before finally bracing herself and boldly entering the Barn in her backyard.

It was chilly. The place had fallen into disuse after Melissa went back to England and her renovation plans were stalled with Paige's absconding. They were going to spruce up the place together and move in there for good. They'd get to be close to Spencer's parents and call 'shotgun' on the barn during family get-togethers. They were gonna make love on the loft and skinny dip in the pool on quiet nights. But that's all gone now.

Spencer reminded herself of what they say about 'the best laid plans of mice and men' as she braved the chilly barn's embrace. She tentatively put one foot on the ladder, adding a little pressure and checking if it can handle any weight. She wasn't sure if there was termite damage, and if there was, it'd be too dangerous to test the loft, but she was determined to get this over with today.

In retrospect, she should have checked the dampness as well before heading up, because not even two rungs up, she slipped, her foot going through the ladder and tipping her off balance, the ladder tackling her to the ground. She had to laugh at her misfortune. To add insult to injury, a few moments later, she heard a distinct 'clap clap clap' of footsteps and the distinct laugh of one of her three best friends.

"Aria? What are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd come visit my best friend while I'm out here" Aria smiled. "What are you up to, Spence?"

Spencer sighed. She didn't want to dwell on this, just do it and move on. "When Paige and I... when Paige was living with me, we put some of her things in storage in the loft part of the barn. I figured now that she's no longer living here, I'd mail them along to her."

"Spencer, your nose is dripping like a faucet. I'm sure packing Paige's belongings can wait a day or two." Aria tried to discourage her old friend from rushing into things in the state she's in but she knew it'd fall on deaf ears. Spencer is almost as stubborn as Emily.

"I can't have these things be here while she's over there with her. I can't have any part of her. It's not right. I have to give her back. I mean, I have to give her things back."

Aria took the taller woman in. She had clearly not been sleeping well, which for Spencer wasn't saying much -she was sure she majored in insomnia- but there was something different about this exhaustion. It was kind of like Spencer just gave up. Like she lost whatever battle she was fighting. She didn't know how to help the other woman feel better so she did the only thing she knew how and offered her her help in packing Paige's belongings away. Spencer smiled a rare smile and gave her a warm hug. Aria couldn't stop whatever Spencer was feeling, but at least she could make sure she wasn't going through it alone.

"So where do you want me to put that blouse?" she asked, picking a discarded blouse off the floor. Spencer smiled again and pointed at a luggage bag she'd hauled in from the main house. They worked in silence for a while, Spencer trying to detach herself from the task at hand and speed through it while Aria stole furtive glances at her friend.


	8. January 8

AN: I messed up the first time I upped this, so I re-did it. Hopefully I got to it in time, before people saw it but if you did, and got confused, sorry. I'm bulk uploading a couple chapters together this time around. Sorry for the delay.

Every other time Paige had tried to warn Emily of Alison's intentions her attempts had fallen flat. Emily's naivety and loyalty to her friends prevented her from seeing the truth and alienated her from Paige. But this time, Emily took her words at face value. Even though she was accusing Alison herself of being none other than the monster who had made Emily's life a living hell for years, she just seemed to accept it as fact. There was no bargaining. There was no fighting it. The color didn't drain from her cheeks. There was no shock. It was like she already knew. She accepted the truth. It was so freeing. To finally be believed. To be validated.

And yet this wasn't the effect Paige anticipated, nor the effect she had wanted. She expected Emily's denial. She expected Emily to storm off after accusing her of being jealous. To be accused of being petty and manipulative, and inciting panic for self gain. She was genuinely shocked that Emily took the news so well.

But the downside of Emily taking the news well was that now things had not gone as Paige had anticipated. The news did not have the expected effect. So she would have to find a different way of getting distance from Emily because she was not relenting. She was not cowering away, nor storming off in anger. She was standing by her, looking up at her with hope in her eyes. Hope that shattered her heart and pierced through to her very soul and created a fissure there. Paige was devastated because she knew she was going to have to be the one that destroyed that hope.

"There is something else" She said, watching Emily's forehead crease with concern.

"I can't go back to Rosewood with you because... I'm still in love with Spencer."

The half smile that played on Emily's lips slowly sank into a frown as the meaning of Paige's words slowly seeped into her brain. This was not an obstacle she could overcome.


	9. January 9

For the longest time, Spencer and Aria's conversation had simmered down to requests to pass one another things, but once everything was half-packed, the two girls took a little break for sustenance. Spencer boiled a pot of water and threw some linguine in while Aria shelled some king prawns. They refrained from switching the tv on - a habit developed during their high school days when every other week they'd wish to avoid the local news for one reason or another- and instead put on some music.

Aria picked an old rockabilly spotify playlist and reached her hand out for Spencer to take. Spencer lip synched into her wooden spoon as she took her friend's hand and started swing dancing with her through the kitchen. The Hastings house filled up with laughter and cheer, Elvis, and prawns, and as Spencer finished her rendition of "All Shook Up", she and Aria settled down into a comfortable silence which was broken over dinner when Aria asked the dreaded question that's been playing on her lips all day.

Emboldened by Spencer's high spirits, and the second glass of wine, she finally caved in and asked.

"I know this is out of line, but why exactly did you let her go, Spence? I mean, it's clear you still love her. I know you're acting like you don't, for Emily's sake but I can tell from the way you handled yourself in the barn that you didn't want to let her go, so why did you do it?"

"Isn't it obvious? I did it for Em. She was hers first and it wasn't right of me to step in the way I did."

"Yeah but they weren't together. You had no way of knowing that she'd want her back. That she was even still in love with her. It's not on you, Spence!"

"Maybe, but it still doesn't change anything."

"Let me ask you this though: In all your self effacing did you ever stop to think what Paige might have liked?

"She'll be happy with Emily"

"But does she WANT Emily or does she want to be with you?"

"I'm sure she wants to be with Emily"

"But how can you be sure if you've never asked her?"

"I did ask her!"

"But she didn't say she wanted to be with Emily, did she?"

"Maybe not, but she sure as hell didn't say she wanted to be with me! If she did, she should have just said and I would've fought for her. But she doesn't want me, Aria. How would she? She's in love with Em."

"Maybe she didn't exactly pick you but she didn't pick Em either. There's still hope, I just don't see why you're throwing in the towel."

"Because I should've never entered the ring in the first place. What was I thinking? It's Paige and Emily. That's like-"

"Hanna and Caleb?"

"Wow. You went there, huh?"

"Well, you went there first." Aria smirked. Spencer gulped down the rest of her wine and re-filled her glass. She had a feeling Aria was not going to leave things at that. She buckled down and got ready for a long night.


	10. January 10

_It's over._ Emily thought.

 _All this love. All this effort has amounted to nothing._

 _She's in love with someone else._

 _She's in love with Spencer._

 _My best friend._

 _I can't even be mad at her because I deserve it. I deserve everything that happened to me. I never treated her as well as I should have, but I never loved anybody else more in my entire life and I thought we could be happy together. She deserves to be happy! I thought I could make her happy. I guess not. I guess the only person who can give her that is Spence._

 _God, why did it have to be her? She already has everything. She has a mother, a father -heck she has two mothers!- she has sisters and a brother and a fancy house and the Hastings name which opens doors for her that I could never even dream of approaching, and she has money and now she even has Paige._

 _And I have nothing._

 _Less than nothing._

 _I have bills and a broken heart._

 _Why would she even want me after all that?_

 _What was I thinking coming here?_

 _God, I'm such a fool!_

 _I just wanna dig a hole and bury myself in it. Like Alison..._

 _Ugh. What was I thinking, trusting her after everything she did to me? After everything she did to Paige? No wonder she wants to be with Spencer. Spencer's not gullible like me. She isn't as dumb as me and she hasn't fucked up like I have. She would never do that to Paige. She would never put Alison above her in any way._

 _But what was I supposed to do? She was pregnant with my children! God, the kids. I forgot about them. I'm such a terrible mother to boot. How did I let my life slip away from me? What happened to the Emily I knew? When did I turn into this selfish, self-obsessed asshole? The girls are probably traumatized. They were kidnapped by Alison, taken away from me, and the moment I get them back I shunt them off to my mom to chase a girl around the country. I'm wasting so much money being here. Money I should be spending on them._

 _I should buy them something grandiose when I get back to take their minds off things. Wait, no, when did I turn into the type of person who bribes their kids? What happened to teaching them values? When did I become so complacent? It's because of Alison isn't it? I was such a pushover. I'd just agree to everything so we wouldn't have to fight. I called it 'compromising' in my head but really I was caving in to all of her demands._

 _Daycare? Check. Pierce the babies' ears? Check. Don't let them spend too much time with their grandma, don't take them out for too long, don't let them have candy so they don't get fat, but do buy them clothes and more toys and other status symbols. We filled Jason's room with toys and that still wasn't enough._

 _And she wouldn't let me donate anything to charity. She had me packing everything into boxes and stuffing the attic. It was like an episode of hoarders up there. There were stuff there from Alison's childhood that her parents kept after her disappearance. It was like an entire museum wing dedicated entirely to Ali. Alison liked to flaunt and compare things. She was so materialistic. All she cared about was all the things she had. Her main incentive was looking good._

 _I'm not gonna raise my kids to be that way anymore. I'm not gonna let them turn into mini-Alisons. Starting tomorrow I will get my life back on track. No more of this Emily DiLaurentis. Starting tomorrow I'll be Emily Fields. I'm gonna get my life back, starting with those kids. And as for Paige?_

 _If I can't make her happy then I can at least make sure that Spencer does. Even if it hurts. Even if it kills me, I'll do this for her._

Emily blinked back the tears that blurred her vision as she pulled out her phone and arranged herself a flight back. She started packing her few belongings away and set her alarm clock for seven, then she lay down on her side and allowed herself a night to mourn what she had with Paige and her old life before going back to Rosewood and devoting herself to being the best friend and mother she could be, all the while living next door to the woman she aches for.


	11. January 11

AN: Enjoy the last of the bulk upload.

Paige shuffled out of bed after Emily left her room. She ambled to the window and watched the other girl run into her car, get into the driver's seat and stall, coiling up into a ball and crying. She wanted so much to reach out and touch her. She nearly ran to her side. Making her cry was not her intention. Every tear felt like a stab in Paige's heart but she had to let go of Emily, because she loved her.

She knew this was the right thing and she knew that it would hurt but nothing prepared her for how it actually felt when it was done. She didn't roll into a ball and cry herself to sleep like they do in the movies. No, this was much worse.

It didn't feel like her heart was breaking. It felt like her heart was gone.

Like there was a massive gaping hole where her heart used to be and it was just this empty, black, cold space where if you stuck your hand in, the only thing you'd feel was a draft. Like someone had reached inside her and tore the blasted thing out and all she could do was watch it happen.

Paige was gone. There was no more Paige. She didn't feel like Paige anymore. She didn't feel at all.

She sat in the bath long after the water went cold. She started to shiver but still didn't feel the cold. Her body was here but her mind had gone. She tried to retrieve it but all she found was woe. Every moment... every second that ticked by was an infinity. And Paige had suffered so much and so long she felt as if her life spanned centuries. She felt old and decrepit. She moved about as if she was scared of turning ti dust. Her mind made up that if she moved faster she would crumble. So she slowly rose from the bath and after a few minutes she languidly set herself down on the bed and went to sleep.

Dreams were good. They were the only time she could escape this Paige shaped coffin and live in the real world.


	12. January 12

AN: This prompt is 'Powder Keg Crowd' and if there ever was a prompt that didn't fit this narrative, it's that. But I tried to make do. Enjoy.

Lilly paced around the dining room with Grace in tow. It wasn't fair and they were flummoxed. First their mom, Alison yanks them around all day, on this supposed 'fun trip' that never came to fruition. Then they get picked up by their mommy Emily and their aunty Spencer and dropped off with grandma Pam, but she's been too busy frantically cooking and making phone calls and stressing out to spend any time with them and she'd just put Moana on TWICE now -sure the girls LOVED Moana but twice in a row was a bit too much, even for them. They wanted to watch She-Ra now, dangit but gramps was too distracted to put that on- and expected them to sit idly by and watch Moana for a second time?!

This was unheard of. This was a travesty! Mother WILL hear all about this!

As nap time approaches and the rioting toddlers get cranky, Pam flits through the house looking for the girls.

"There you are! You scared me half to death with your disappearing! Still I can't blame you for running off. Who wants to watch movies on loop? Come along, I'll get you your blankies for nap time and then we can hop along to the park for a little bit, okay?"

The girls looked at one another in stunned silence. It was like Grandma Pam can read their brains. So overjoyed they could cry, they toddled over to their grandma, who swiftly picked them up with a grunt and a proud remark about how fast they're growing, and carried them over to the couch for nap time, soothingly singing them to sleep the way their mommy Emily does, and caressing their tiny heads.

Mommy Emily and Alison were gone for now but at least grandma Pam took great care of them. She made their parents' absence not seem quite as bad and while they were anxious about recent developments, they felt comforted and safe in their grandma's arms.

AN: This went from being completely uninspiring to being finished in one sitting. Enjoy.


	13. January 13

Halfway through the night, things changed. Spencer had enough of Aria's assumptions and accusations and took the defensive, accusing her of being a hypocrite.

"When was the last time you did anything for YOUR self then Aria?

When did you last choose yourself over all your other responsibilities?

Don't call me out for giving her up when you yourself are tip-toeing through life, afraid to fall in love again because of what happened the last time."

"At least I moved on from Toby. I fell in love, _hard_ , with Paige."

"While you were sitting at home nursing your wounds and eating ice cream while watching the bachelor, I was out there living my life. And yeah it's scary. It's terrifying! It hurt so much to lose her now that I can't even begin to imagine what it would have felt like if I had gotten to keep her as long as you had Ezra." Aria flinched at the sound of his name, as if merely uttering his name had the power to summon the man or the feelings she once had for him.

"I was honestly terrified we'd stay together and one day down the line, I'd wake up with an empty space beside me or I'd wake up and she'd be dead, in her sleep or in some other way, and I couldn't fathom the thought of losing her after spending months together, let alone years so yeah, maybe some of what I'm doing is selfish, and maybe it's more for the sake of my own sanity that I'm giving her up for Emily but at least I can say gave it a shot. You can't lecture me on giving up when you never even tried in the first place."

"All those men!" she continued, listing names off on her fingers "Bradley, Benjamin, Cooper, Miles, Austin... you never loved any of them. You knew you wouldn't so you just jumped into these miniature relationships with them. You jump into bed with them after the first couple of dates and sign yourself out the first sign of trouble. When was the last time you maintained a relationship for more than a month?"

Aria flinched again. Spencer was out of line but every line she said was true. She had been closing herself off ever since her divorce. She had withstood all that she could, being mother and father to those kids. Ezra refused to pull his weight and acted like a child and ultimately, Aria tired of having three kids to look out for instead of a husband and her daughter and son.

She felt like a failure for the longest time. How could she be so stupid as to move in with this manchild and expect him to grow up overnight? Even when she was in high school she was the one who had to take care of him, and not the other way around. You'd think dating an older man would mean he'd be wiser and more responsible but she was always the adult in their relationship. She just feels bad that it took having kids for her to realize she married a child.

While Aria did feel guilty for her recent behavior and knew she had to take stock, she was also aware of the fact that Spencer was hurting and this was just her friend deflecting because she had said too much. She finally revealed her real reason for leaving Paige -fear- and Aria wasn't about to let that go. Had she not spent so much time living with an adult who was an expert at subterfuge she might have missed it but thanks to her experiences in love, Spencer's comment didn't go over her head. She finally put the last piece of the puzzle in place and saw the picture for what it really was; her friend was in love and it terrified her.


	14. January 14

Nick McCullers sat and waited in his car. He wore a fake moustache he picked up from a dollar store, and a pork pie hat he dug out of the old boxes in his garage. He paired this unusual duo with a pipe, a monocle and a bespoke suit, all-together he looked like Poirot but his disguise didn't fool the teary eyed girl that ran out of his house, nor his daughter, who watched from the window. He gulped, sinking down into his seat, hoping Paige would ease her cold accusatory gaze. Eventually her anger gave way to the pain and she looked away and down at the floor as she made her way back to bed. Nicholas sighed and exited the car.

He walked up the stairs like he was walking to the gallows. He pushed the ajar door aside and walked to the edge of his daughter's bed. He was surprised to find her staring at the wall, instead of curled up in a ball and crying. He was even more surprised at her unresponsiveness. It was like she was in another dimension. Like he could see a mirrored image of her but he couldn't reach through to her real self. Like his daughter was gone behind the mirror and he had no way of getting her back.

He put his arm across her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug and she barely seemed to notice. He held her close as she slowly sank back down to earth and felt her mood shift as she let all the anger and pain out with some barely stifled sobs. First she tried to fight it. She tried to push him away but he refused to move. Eventually she gave up and just held on tight to her father as she let all the tears she'd been holding in out.

He was disappointed -to say the least- that his matchmaking didn't take. He hoped his daughter would let Emily in and trust in her, but now he realizes that Paige had been pushed too far by A. Something in her had been irreparably damaged and it was something he couldn't restore with a hug. He wiped a tear from his own face when Paige finally cried herself to sleep. He had failed. Not only in his matchmaking, but as a dad, he had failed to protect his kid, and that's the blow that hurt the most.


	15. January 15

AN: This chapter was messed up when I first upped it. Sorry. Same thing happened with the 8th part of this volume. Sory and thank you for your patience.

Aria walked into her family home after a long night out. She'd spent most of the night at Spencer's but after their big blowout she skipped town, winding up drunk in an old-timey bar in Ravenswood. She'd combined whiskey chasers with Jägerbombs and gotten immensely drunk. Too drunk to drive. Too drunk to even walk home. She lay down in the back seat of her car and slept until the sun rose. She thanked her lucky stars that she was so compact that sleeping in a car was barely uncomfortable, and drove through to the closest food joint for something greasy on her way home.

She drunk dialled Spencer a couple of times, she discovered, after she had her shower. Spence didn't return any of her calls, and Aria believed she blocked her. She was going to go around later that day and see if she could salvage their relationship but knew better than to rush things. So Aria downed some vitamin E and started pouring over another manuscript. Ezra had graciously agreed on joint custody of the children and he would be by to drop them off later with that tart he started dating approximately twelve seconds after they broke up. She supposed she would've been more jealous if she didn't suspect he was just using her and coasting by off her family money while he shat out another sequel nobody asked for.

But for now she had to get the place ready for the kids and finish her take-home work. She dreaded seeing Ezra again. Things were already bad enough with Spencer, she didn't need to get into another fight, but if he neglected to follow her instructions again, -which she hated- she was going to have to tear into him in front of the kids, which is something she hated even more. She'd not only have the fallout of his visit to contend with, but be made the villain in their eyes.

Everything about this situation sucked for her, and with Hanna out of town and Emily elsewhere, pissing Spencer off meant she'd lost her only form of support and escape from the daily grind. She was already pissed off with herself for going off like that. But she was just trying to help. Not trying to cause a crack in their relationship. They were best friends. If they couldn't give it to each other straight, then who could?

She leaned back on her desk chair and looked at the stack of books on her bedside table. She remembered being in this room as a teenager, and the whole world feeling so far out of her reach and now it seemed to be creeping in through every opening and it was just so much and all she wanted was to keep it out. Everything happened so fast. The wedding, the adoptions, the divorce, moving back in with her parents while he kept the kids and house. Then deciding to allow her custody over the week and get the kids during the summer holidays, Easter and every weekend. He saddled her with the worst parts of the week, Christmas, (the most expensive holiday) and Halloween.

Just thinking of Halloween made her skin crawl. It had been years but she still had nightmares of being caged in a box with a corpse. It was not the kind of thing she thinks she'll ever forget. And Ezra knew she was still having nightmares when they broke up. He knew and he made sure she had the children that time of the year anyway and that she'd be forced to relive her trauma as much as possible as she walked down the same streets -with two children in tow- where she felt the most powerless. Where she was hunted and tormented day after day. The only way she even got through High School was with her friends, and now she was completely isolated...


	16. January 16

AN: Really sorry for the delay, been having hardware issues out the wazoo. Also this story is getting harder and harder to write. Next chapter had me stumped for ages. I revised and re-wrote it time and time again. I've decided to just do one last re-write and that's what you'll be getting up next. Will upload this chapter and the next now. The rest will come soon.

"Paige... honey? Your mom and I are going out for dinner. Do you want us to pick something up for you?" Nick asked from the door. Paige shook her head and burrowed further into her blanket fort. She'd built it as soon as she woke up. It's something she'd done every time she felt like the world was spinning on its axles faster than she could keep up with. Her dad always helped her prop the blankets up when she was younger... He hadn't helped her out since she was ten though. She was so used to doing it on her own that she was thrown in for a loop when her dad came in with twine to help her affix the topmost blanket.

They spent a couple of minutes fiddling with this and that, stuffing pillows in under the covers, and hanging up a set of Christmas lights that were still out from the holidays. She settled in with a cup of tea and a few good books, and he with a cup of hot cocoa and a magazine. Mrs McCullers joined them with snacks after a bit and they spent the afternoon quietly resting in Paige's little blanket hideout.

Time passed by and her parents got busy but Paige had nowhere to go, and nothing to do but think. Think about the past and the future and the secret she was harboring. She folded her arms as she considered her options. She couldn't keep her secret forever, soon enough someone would figure it out and as lousy as she feels now, she'd feel even worse if she kept it from her parents until it was too late. She hated lying to them, just like she hated lying to Emily. Not about loving Spencer, that was every bit as true as the love she felt for Emily. But that was not the reason she was pushing either girl away. That reason was Alison. More specifically, what Alison had done to her and her determination not to turn into her.

Alison had used her pregnancy to manipulate Emily into choosing her. Into being with her. She used the babies as pawns and traded in her high strung life for nappies and Emily's attention. Sure it cost her some stretch marks and sleepless nights with teething twins but what she gained in return was far greater, and what she and Emily lost was far too immense to be measured and compared to something as trivial or minute as dirty diapers.

Paige refused to sink that low. She refused to allow her condition to rule her life... to ruin it, run it into the ground. She refused to shackle anybody to her because of what Alison had done to her.

Yes, it's true, she was pregnant. The tests at the hospital proved Alison right. She was almost past the 'decision' date -the point in a pregnancy when it's too far along to terminate- but either way it wouldn't matter. Not with her and her family's faith. Her father was a deacon! There was no way she could abort. But just because she was mired with this fate doesn't mean she'd let Emily be dragged and controlled like that by it too. It was Alison's last hurrah. Her last act of malevolence. "I'm giving you Emily back in a way that ensures neither of you EVER forget me". It was a double-edged sword. Tell her and rob her of all agency, or let her go, knowing she will hate you for never telling her you were carrying her child.

She was tired of all this toxic manipulative behavior that runs abundant in Rosewood. Of people coercing people into doing whatever they wanted them to do. A or no A, she was done playing these games. She could stand being hated by Emily, but not being the trap that closed around her, forcing her to choose her and be with her and take care of her. She was too proud for that. So she twisted the truth around and let Emily do what she expected she'd do; go. It was much better to see her walk away now than see the light in her eyes diminish by forcing her to stay. Not knowing whether she stayed for her or because of the baby, that would be a fate worse than bearing this burden alone.

Well, not alone. She had her mother and father. And soon enough they'd figure it out. Unless she told them. It would honestly feel a little better to tell somebody. Lift some of that weight off her shoulders. But she hated burdening other people with her problems. So she carried the weight of the world on her own. But she knew that this was a secret she couldn't keep to herself... not for long anyway. Soon enough people would figure it out. And if her mom and dad figured it out without being told they'd be hurt that she wouldn't trust them, so it'd be kinder to tell them before it became too obvious, even though it goes against everything that Paige believed in. Either way, soon enough they'd find out the truth about what Alison had done. The real reason she left Rosewood.


	17. January 17

Paige was afraid. She knew that when she chose to walk down this path there was a chance she'd be walking it alone. There was a chance her parents wouldn't support her decision and she would be raising this kid on her own.

She knew that it was a very real possibility that she might end up losing everything. And she knew then how Emily must have felt and why she didn't push her to stay.

She cried for the longest time. When she was done crying for herself she started crying for Emily and for the chance she didn't give her. She felt like such a coward and a fraud for walking away when she herself now chose to make the same decision and pick the baby over their relationship.

She knew if Emily ever found out she would be furious. That's why she had to cut her loose and get as far away as possible. She had to drop off the face of the planet or risk destroying her.

She knew if Emily found out she'd stick by her side and help her take care of the babies. And she knew she would always feel guilty for forcing her. She would be Alison. She knew the kindest thing she could do was walk away and let her be free to make her own decisions. That if she chose her without knowing about the baby then it might be real but she self sabotaged and told her she still had feelings for Spencer -which as valid as it may be, was a stupid remark and an even dumber way to test Emily's conviction-. and watched her go, relieved that this happened now rather than later when it would have been far more devastating to not only her, but also the life she was carrying inside of her.

Still, as much as losing Emily hurt, her family was the last thing she had left and now she was at risk of losing that as well. This wasn't like coming out. It wasn't something she couldn't control, she had other options, this was just the only one she could live with, and she was afraid that her mother and father wouldn't understand -after all, how could they? Nothing like this had ever happened to them- or worse, they would understand all too well and start to pity her.

Either way, she was not going to waste another minute fretting about this. She was afraid but she was not going to let that fear stop her, she was going to let it motivate her. Because the sooner she told them the truth the sooner she'd know how they felt and she wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

"Mom, Dad, there's something you should know. Something I have to tell you. To be honest, I've been avoiding this conversation for a while but it's something I need to get off my chest."

AN: Again, so sorry for the delay. I'll try to get the next chapters in as quickly as possible, then work my way backwards through the rest of my unfinished fics before starting something new again. Thank you for your patience.


	18. January 18

At the end of it all she thought she'd have something to show for it... the trip to California. But all she took home with her was doubts and a new conviction.

That she would be the best mom in the world was a given. She was going to pour every ounce of her being into those children. She was going to raise them right so that when they got to her age they wouldn't have to demean themselves like she did, only to end up alone on a Friday night, wasting her youth by the poolside.

She still had her job, still had her mom and her friends. Well, some of her friends. Things will always be tense with Spencer from now on, especially if she got back with Paige, but at least she'd still have her friend by her side, if she played her cards right.

Right now her main objective was to keep everything she had left. She would have to do extensive damage control to retain Spencer's friendship and she would have to make a gargantuan sacrifice in order to keep Paige close to her, and tell Spencer that she's still in love with her.

It's going to be the hardest thing she'll do, giving up Paige, but if it means making her happy, she vowed to go through with it.

She didn't know what she expected. Truly she had no expectations. She had a faint shred of hope but all that was dashed in Cali. But she told herself that she could sleep soundly because what mattered the most is that she tried, and not that she failed. That she put herself out there and made an attempt.

Her hotel bravado waned the next morning. She had promised herself to try again, but that promise she made by the moonlight seemed so stupid in the day. As if begging would change anything. The only thing it would do is cost her what little respect she had left. She groaned when she realized how flawed her plan was and started packing her bag for the trip back.

She was home on the first flight back. The only things she brought back were her luggage, a picture of a sleeping girl and a broken heart.


	19. January 19

The lights were all out when Emily got back home. There was a storm that knocked out the power in her neighborhood and one of her fuses had gone out in the night. Her phone was dead and she didn't keep any candles around since the twins started crawling and getting into every cabinet in the house. She swore under her breath as she walked back to the car. She sifted through the messy boot until she found what she was looking for. She emerged from the darkness victorious, with Grace's forgotten Leappad in her hand. She held it up the way guys in movies held stereos up to blast love songs up for the girls they loved. She used the small light to guide herself to the fusebox and quickly fixed the issue with the lights.

Lilly and Grace were spending one last night with her mother so she had the house to herself. She meandered here and there like she was in a haze. She hadn't prepared at all for this. It immediately hit her that as the children got older, she was going to spend a lot of time like this, and if she wanted to keep her sanity, she'd need some sort of hobby. Dating was out of the question. No one could ever measure up to Paige, that was a given, but what she feared most was winding up with someone who matched up to Alison so as a means of self-preservation she completely nipped that idea in the bud. Guess she could always fall back on sports.

Sports were well and all but what was she going to do to unwind on those long summer nights and endless sleepy mornings? Sure, she had her work and her kids, but she recently became keenly aware that there were always going to be these moments she wasn't needed, where she'd have to just be, and she didn't know how to do that without anybody by her side. She wondered if this was what it felt like when her father died. If her mother had selfish moments where she grieved for all these things she wouldn't get to do anymore with her partner, feeling sorry for herself instead of her lost partner. A part of her hoped she wasn't alone in feeling this way. Hoped that Paige would miss her too in moments like these.

She wondered if a day would come when she would no longer mean a thing to Paige. When her heart will have completely expunged any trace of her and completely engulfed Spencer. When memories of the time they spent together would seem so distant, like a dream. Or would she always feel a tinge of pain when she hears her name? Will she feel any regret at losing her? Will there come a day she thinks back and wonders what it would have been like if she came home with her? Or would she move on wholly in her absence? Would she be able to completely repair her life and heart and have a family with someone else?

Would it last with Spencer?

Would she always have these moments?

Is she really going to have to sit by and live vicariously through her best friend? Giving romance tips and hinting at Paige's favorite perfume and flower so Spencer can get laid on Valentine's day? Hold a bouquet next to Spencer at their wedding? God, will she babysit their kids while they're on romantic getaways, screwing each-other's brains out and living the life she always wished was hers? Just the thought made her want to pull her hair out. How was she going to survive all this?


	20. January 20

Its funny. Spencer always thought if she lost Toby it would be because of A. Yet it was just regular drifting apart and growth in opposite directions that ended their relationship. With Paige, she didn't feel the need to worry about A anymore, for all of that was a distant memory. But Emily was always in the back of her mind. Would she change her mind and leave Alison? Would Paige leave her to be with Emily? Was she just a placeholder in Paige's life, filling in a space Emily would occupy?

Thing is though, Paige had a way of loving you so thoroughly that all doubts you may have had were cast aside. She loved her wholeheartedly and Spencer found herself falling deeply in love with her. She felt safe and secure in her arms, -a rare occurrence- and her love and care emboldened her and made her stronger. She felt invincible next to her. For the first time in forever she started to have hope. She started to believe that there could be a happy future ahead of her. A white picket fence, dog and kids and Paige waiting by the door for her at the end of the day.

But Spencer knows what they say about hope.

She should have never let her in. They should have kept things casual. A fuck here, a hookup there. The odd dinner. Losing a lover was easier than losing a friend. But Paige wormed her way into her every day life. She brought her soup when she was ill and sat up with her, holding back her hair whenever she barfed. She sat through old black and white movies with her and took her out on picnic dates. They talked about everything and nothing. From Paige's wrestling phase to young Spencer's horse obsession. Names of first pets were exchanged and family birthdays were in each other's calendars.

All those long sleepless nights they spent gazing at the moon and sitting in comfortable silence on Paige's picnic blanket or the morning cuddles they shared? Now Paige would get to repeat them with someone else. Someone Spencer trusted and loved like a friend. Someone Spencer couldn't even hate or blame because Paige was hers first.

And Spencer was on her own.

Emily was back now. She heard her car come in the night before but didn't muster the strength to greet her. Any day now she'd have to come out and face her and find out the truth. Find out if Paige had come back with her and if they'd gotten back together... If things were really as they appeared. Spencer didn't have hope for the future, but maybe the present was still malleable. Maybe she'd be spared having to face Paige again this early on. Maybe she will have enough time to reach some semblance of stability before having to make any contact with her again. Spencer crossed her fingers and hoped as she pulled a pie out of the freezer and started making her way across the street.


	21. January 21

AN: I'm sorry it took this long to update. I'm not the best at keeping up with things. Hope to make up for it with this (sadly too short) chapter.

Spencer made her way over to the DiLaurentis house. She knocked once or twice but didn't receive an answer so she came in through the kitchen entrance using the key she knew was hidden under a stone near the front steps. She laid the peace offering down on the counter and covered it with a towel. She could hear the shower going upstairs and decided to wait in the kitchen for her friend.

The pie was cold and she figured she could bake it while Emily showered and they could enjoy it together while they reconciled. It was already pre-baked and only needed a couple of minutes of heating up so she popped it in the oven and reached for her phone to set a reminder. Only it wasn't her phone she grabbed, it was Emily's.

Nothing could have prepared Spencer for what she saw when the screen lit up.

There she was. Paige. In all her glory. Nestled up in her bed. Bundled up with a blanket like a gift. Sleeping peacefully. Her eyes followed the curves of Paige's peacefully sleeping face. She looked so beautiful in this light. Like Helios himself made it just for her. As she instinctively wiped at a tear on her cheek, she realized what this photo meant. This photo is Emily's trophy. The proof that she's won and they've reconciled. Spencer clenched her fist as images of what Paige and Emily must have been doing before this photo was taken flashed through her head.

She knew this was a very real possibility. She knew that there was a very good chance that Emily and Paige had reconciled but she didn't expect to be confronted like this. Almost like Emily was flaunting her success. She rationalized that Emily had no way of making her check her phone and that her anger was irrational, but it didn't make her utter disappointment at being proven right disappear and that caused her anger and self loathing to spike. The shower upstairs... were they both in it? Was Paige here right now?

Spencer didn't stick around to find the answer to her question. The sound of the water being switched off startled her and in her state she headed straight for the door, slamming it shut on the way out.

The house's occupants descended the stairs apprehensively, checking around the corners of the house for any intruders. They didn't find anybody though. The only thing they found was an apple pie they were sure they hadn't left in the oven before showering. A gloved hand reached for a fork and started digging into the tasty dessert from the center.


	22. January 22

"So you lied to both Spencer and Emily" her father summed it up.

"Yeah." Paige admitted, wiping at another stray tear. "I had no other choice. I couldn't do to them what was done to me, or Em. I love them so I had to let them go."

"With all due respect honey but that's ridiculous." Paige's mother snapped.

"What?" Paige asked bewildered.

"I'm inclined to agree with your mother here, honey." her father added as he continued his pacing. "First you tell Spencer you want Emily, then you tell Emily you want Spencer. Don't you think they're gonna talk? They're gonna figure out that you're lying, you know? And then what? They find out the truth? For starters, you're only delaying the inevitable-"

"I know! I just need some time to decide what I'm going to do!"

"I wasn't finished. Not only are you delaying the inevitable but we all know what you want, it's obvious, and it's obvious that this is why you think you have to lie to keep them away; because you don't want to saddle them with your decisions, but by lying you're denying them the opportunity to make their own decisions on the matter. You're robbing them of agency just like you were essentially robbed yourself!" Paige's dad concluded.

"I know they should get a say, especially Emily, since it's her baby that is inside me but I don't want to force her into anything and I know regardless of my choice what she'd want; I've seen it before, with Alison. She's going to take all the responsibility on herself and carry this burden on her own back. She's going to push me away because she'll think that I don't want her, and that I'm using her like Alison did, and we are going to lose all the love we used to have for one another when things get hard. And then there's Spencer. I can't ask her to support me while I do this. It would destroy her! Trust me, if there was another way, I would have chosen it a long time ago. Don't you think I've hoped and prayed this wasn't happening? I've even had darker moments, like the ones I had in High School, where I thought the easiest way to solve the problem was to remove myself from the equation."

"Paige!" Gasped her mother.

"Honey!" Gasped her father.

"It was a fleeting thought but it was up there, swirling around in my head for a while. I am telling you because I don't want you to think I'm taking this lightly." She said, looking at both her mother and father for confirmation before proceeding. "I am going to do what's best for everyone and disappear." Paige decided, sitting down on the edge of her bed for support. Her parents sat down on either side of her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder in solidarity.

"It's not my baby." She continued. "It's Emily's. The final decision should go to her. And we should not be a package deal. She should not be forced to put up with one just to have the other if she wants to, which is why she must NEVER know that I'm the one who carried it for her. I'll bring it to term, make sure it's good and healthy and leave it outside her house in a basket with a note like they did in old movies."

"Paige are you sure? You don't have to do this. There are other ways..."

"I know. But this is the only one I can live with. Emily deserves to have something that's hers, untarnished by Alison and Rosewood and all that other stuff. She doesn't have to know what was involved in this. She can think it was one of her egg donations that was orphaned and abandoned at her step. She doesn't need to have this tied to A or me. This can just be hers."

"But sweety, what about you?"

"I'll be fine. I'll move on. And I'll finally be able to put Rosewood behind me for good."

Nick looked at his wife across the top of their daughter's head. She had snuggled up and fallen asleep between them and they didn't know what to do. On the one hand they knew they could not dissuade her. Their daughter was as strong-willed as her dad. But on the other, they both knew it wasn't right what A was doing to her, and they knew they had to protect her, but how? How could they do that without hurting her? Without taking away any more from her than she's already lost. Their hands were itching for the phone. They were dying to call Emily or Spencer and open up but they knew that Paige was volatile and if they lost her right now they might never get her back. So Nick sighed and pulled the sofa throw over his family and settled in for the long haul.


	23. January 23

It's been days since Emily's been back and Spencer still hasn't touched base with her. Far too long to pretend this was a coincidence. Emily wracked her brain to try to figure out what was going on. She tried recalling all their past interactions for any hints that might explain her sudden disappearance but came up with nothing.

Before she left Rosewood she thought they were good. They had aired out their grievances and come to an agreement. She figured maybe she'd been busy but logically she would have messaged at least to let her know she's fine. With A and everything, they always made sure to keep in touch with one another, especially after what happened with Alex Drake, so Spencer of all people being MIA was especially out of character and alarming.

Emily didn't want to push things and force Spencer to face her. After all, things were still a bit weird because of the Paige thing and since she and Hanna went through a similar thing she thought she'd contact her and see how things worked out for them but Hanna was busy herself and hadn't been able to pop in either so Emily resorted to calling Aria, who she knew had also left things off with Spencer on a sour note, but whom she knew would get a more positive response from Spencer if she was agitated. She would check in on her herself but things were so tenuous in their relationship right now she feared getting involved may only make things worse. Besides, she was busy making up for lost time with her daughters, who had finally come home from her mom's place.

Aria popped in on a Friday, after trying and failing to get Spencer on the phone the previous days. She knew that Spencer clocked off early on Fridays and finalized her work from home. Back when Paige was around, Aria would sometimes pop in with coffee during her lunch break and hang out with Spencer. That's how she knew Paige would send her cute little messages on her own lunch break about how she missed her and couldn't wait to get home and how she'd give Spencer incentive to be more productive by promising to wrap up practice early if she finished her work on time.

Aria knew however that without Paige, Spencer had no incentive to ever come home and her chances of running into Spencer at her house after school on a Friday were as slim as before, but she hoped that perhaps this was a habit Spencer had yet to break and that it was ingrained in her routine, and that she'd automatically do it, and she'd be able to find her there.

For the first time in a depressing amount of time, Aria lucked out and managed to find her friend where she was supposed to be. She looked a fair bit worse for wear but she was healthy and seemingly happy.

"Hey"

"Hi. Come in."

"Thanks. How have you been?"

"Fine.. Just, really busy... Work. You know how it is."

"Is that why you haven't been by to see Emily since she got back? She's been worried about you, you know!"

"Really? She hasn't been too busy?" Spencer snarked

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. And I did stop by one time. I left her a pie. I just couldn't stay because I had to do something."

"Something for work?"

"Sure. Hey, is there anything you need? I'm kind of busy at the moment... with paperwork and stuff."

"Well I've got nothing but time. Why don't I wait 'til you finish up and we can grab something to eat?"

"I don't know, Aria, I've got a lot on my plate right now."

"Maybe I can help you get through it."

"It's really not an option."

"Why not?"

"It's not something you or anyone else can help me with, Aria."

"This isn't really about work, is it?"

"Not really" Spencer sighed.

"It's Paige"

"Ding ding ding. We have a winner."  
"Paige and Emily? You said you were fine with that!"

"Yeah? Well, I lied. Okay?"

"Spencer, why would you do that?"  
"Because she loves her, allright? She's loved her all along and she's happy with her and I don't wanna ruin that. I want her to be happy. I just wish she'd be happy with me.." Spencer cried.

"Spence-"

"No. It's okay. It's fine. I'll deal with it, okay? I just need some time to mourn. Please, don't tell Emily anything. Just let me have a bit of time and then I'll return to normal."

"Spencer you shouldn't lie-"  
"That's rich, coming from you."

"Don't try to change the subject, Spencer, you should tell the truth!"  
"When has that ever helped anybody, Aria? Did it help you? Did telling Ezra you were sick of him help you at all or did it end your marriage? Cause you to lose everything? Did you move in with your parents because you told the truth or because you maintained a lie? Just because you ruined your life, doesn't mean you have to drag everyone else down with you!"  
"Wow."

"Okay, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's... got anything else to get off your chest? Maybe you wanna call up Hanna and tear her down too? 'Hey Han, what are you doing with that loser? We all know you deserve better!'"

"No, Aria, I'm sorry. I didn't think"

"That's right, you didn't think. You never think. You just jump into things without ever really thinking. You have a complete lack of foresight and you're callous and you don't care who you're hurting. You were the one that jumped into bed with Hanna and Emily's exes and now you're trying to act like some sort of martyr for letting them go, when you knew -you've ALWAYS known- you never had them in the first place. Caleb was always Hanna's and Paige has always been Emily's the way that Toby is yours and you knew that all along but you jumped into things anyway and now you only have yourself to blame!"

"Get out" Spencer shrieked.

"Oh, I will! You couldn't pay me to stay!" Aria barked back, as she thundered off out the front door towards her car.

"Go. I never want to see you again. I never want to see any of you. You can pass that on to Emily and Hanna since you're such great friends because you're all dead to me." Spencer roared after her.

Aria got in her car and sped off. Spencer slammed her door shut a brief moment after catching Emily staring at her from her mom's house across the street. She'd been picking the girls up after her shift and could do nothing but stare in shock at Spencer's outburst. She looked confused and in pain, as if she just couldn't comprehend how things could escalate like that.

Spencer bolted her door shut and locked it down before storming off into her room and packing an overnight bag for the weekend. She couldn't stay here when all she could see in her mind's eye was the sucker-punched expression on Emily's face. Not when she lived right next door with Paige. Right now she needed to hate Emily but that expression was twisting her stomach in knots because no matter how hard she tried, she could not bring herself to hate her best friend, but she could not make herself forgive her for being with Paige either.


	24. January 24

"welcome home" The voice said.

Spencer recognized the voice but it took her a minute to match it to its owner. She didn't know where she was or how she got there, all she knew was that she hasn't felt this hazy in a long time.

She tried to backtrack to her latest memory. She had a fight with Aria... then she remembered the look on Emily's face after she shouted some truly awful things and how that prompted her to pack a bag and leave. She called a cab because she didn't trust uber, then she locked the house down and got the rest of her affairs in order while she waited for it to arrive... then she left the house, got in the cab and then.. darkness. The back of the cab filled with smoke and suddenly there was nothing but darkness. Even now there's nothing else.

She's certain she's awake because she feels a chill and she knows that you don't feel things when you're asleep. So why can't she see anything? Or move. OR maybe she is moving but she just can't tell because of the darkness. But no, she seems to be stuck. Not tied but paralyzed. Stuck in a laying position on her back with her arms by her sides. She tried to call for help but all she could do was mumble and slur. The voice however seemed to register the sound and it prompted her captor to suddenly switch the light on flooding the room with light.

She was in a hotel room. Radley? What was she doing there in the dark? And why was Mary Drake here, sauntering over and sitting down by her side? Slowly wiping the panicked tears from Spencer's face, and hushing her garbled protests as she runs her fingers through her hair.

"There, there. It's fine. Everything's fine. You're safe. You're home. Mommy's home."


	25. January 25

Spencer tensed under Mary's touch. She was wiping away some blood from the corner of her mouth. She vaguely recalls biting her lip as she fell. She looks around frantically when Mary's back is turned but she can't find anything that might be helpful. There is no luggage bags in sight and Mary didn't bring a purse or handbag with her. She's grabbed another chair and faced Spencer with it, hunkering down and staring tearily at her face.

"You don't know how long I've waited to have you here, Spencer. A family reunion of sorts. I've spent so long without my girls and now that Charlotte's gone, I realize that you girls should have been my priority all along."

She wipes a tear from her cheek as Spencer eyes her apprehensively. She doesn't seem to be carrying any weapons. She's wearing black leather gloves however, which can only mean she doesn't intend to leave any fingerprints. She has no time to worry if that means what she thinks it means because Mary starts talking again, and Spencer needs to find a way out of this hotel room stat.

"I know I wasn't the best mother. I've made... mistakes. I shouldn't have let Alex do that stuff to you. I should've been more fair. You're sisters. You shouldn't have to fight. You should be able to share!"

Spencer quirked her eyebrows at this. What did she mean by that? Was she supposed to share her life with Alex? Work from Monday to Friday and let Alex play her on the weekends?

"I know this is all confusing, but things will seem clear in time."

Mary rose from her chair with a hopeful smile on her face. Spencer quickly shuffled as far away from her as possible but she had still not regained movement in the legs or arms and the most she could do was crane her neck around. She plopped her head back on the pillow and felt the back of her earring dig into her neck. She was in such a rush this morning that she didn't have time to tighten her earrings, she just hastily threw them on. With a good tug she might be able to tear one out and hopefully lead her friends to her.

Mary put the chair she was using back and leaned in close, enveloping Spencer in a hug as she whispered the final part of her proposal.

"We'll be a family, Spencer!"

Spencer craned her head towards Mary's shoulder. Mary hugged her daughter tighter. She heard a knock on the door and started to move back when Spencer jolted suddenly backwards, having used the hug to wedge her earring in Mary's zipper, and using the momentum of the jolt to pull it out, sending it flying down onto the floor. Mary put her arm on Spencer's shoulder to calm her down and Spencer played the fool and sunk back into the bed, watching Mary Drake move around the room and set her affairs in order before moving on with her plan as Spencer hoped the earring would be enough of a clue to let her friends know she's still alive.


	26. January 26

Spencer and Mary were sitting at a diner. The drugs wore off enough to allow Spencer movement of her arms but not her hands or fingers. Mary spooned tomato soup into her mouth as Spencer sat resigned on her hired wheelchair. Mary's accomplice (or perhaps a hotel employee? She didn't know) wheeled it into the room and helped her on it. Mary tipped in cash and pushed Spencer out of Radley and into a Buick. She strapped her in and folded up the chair, putting it in the boot of the car before getting in and driving them out of Rosewood. Spencer estimates they're halfway to Philadelphia now.

"So it's easy. You're getting the opportunity of a lifetime, honey, all you have to do is prove yourself"

This was the reason Spencer hasn't screamed out bloody murder since the moment she was out of the car. On the drive over, Mary explained it all to her. They'd been watching her for a while now and they think now was the time to strike. Something about not only losing Paige but the combination of that and cutting her friends out her life like that made them think it's possible she would be pliable enough to sway this time around.

The A team offered her a position on the team.

She came highly qualified. Heck, even A herself approved this thing. She was to be fastracked to a promotion and a position among the Elite, biggest A's. But there was a catch. She had to prove herself first.

Spencer sunk further into her chair as she made eye contact with a toddler from a few tables down. She looked down in shame as Mary wiped the corner of her mouth for her. It wasn't that she was indisposed that guilted her, but the realization that she was actually considering it.

Not seriously of course. It would be a great way to uncover A and unearth the whole organization and all that stuff but in the pit of her stomach she felt a deep shame because she knew that wasn't the only reason she would be joining the team.

Mary wheeled Spencer back into the car when they were done with their meal. She paid again -cash once more, Spencer noted- and drove further away from Rosewood and the people Spencer had left behind. As soon as she was able to, Spencer reached out and put her hand on Mary Drake's and shook it.


	27. January 27

Spencer was confused. Nothing was really registering after the words 'Paige is missing'. She didn't understand how a thing like this could happen. It was impossible. There was absolutely no way this could be a thing and yet Paige's dad looked upset and her mother was crying and Emily was by the woman's side and she looked devastated also and this had to be a prank but it wasn't. Paige wouldn't do such a thing.

Spencer couldn't figure out what happened. Was she snatched? Did she run away? Did something happen? Could she be lying in a hospital as a 'Jane Doe', struggling to take her last breaths or maybe she was in a shipping container, being trafficked. Her mind conjured up the most terrifying scenarios. She thought about reaching Caleb and asking him to maybe check her phone, but she was sure that her family had already been all over that so there was nothing to do but sit and wait and hope and pray, but Spencer was never good at that.

It took less than five seconds for her to decide to call Mona. She was in Peru, in the middle of a book tour -not hers, but something she worked on- and when she'd heard that Paige -and Alison, she supposed- was missing under mysterious circumstances she was nevertheless intrigued enough to book herself a flight back home. Within a day she found her car, mobile phone and house keys, all scattered around town and all lacking any decent clues. Alison's stuff was even less helpful, her car having been used by Emily, absentmindedly, and cleaned, after her disappearance, and her keys having been dropped in the bathroom by the girls, but they were able to find her wallet, and noted that none of the money was stolen, which was anything but a good sign for the people involved. It meant this wasn't a mugging gone wrong, this was probably intentional.

Spencer couldn't figure out why but this all seemed slightly familiar. She wasn't able to place what she was thinking, she was just sure she was on the verge of a breakthrough. She remembered being at a party after one and she remembered Paige being there and she remembered being slightly drunk and Paige carrying her home essentially and she knew there was something important about this memory, she just couldn't figure out what. Twenty four hours with no sleep and she was looking at the puzzle, she just wasn't seeing the bigger picture. She couldn't. Her brain was fried.

After a long, deep sleep, it came to her in a dream. Paige had been drinking too but she had not seemed drunk at all. Paige had unnaturally high alcohol tolerance. She couldn't have gotten drunk and wandered off and gotten lost like the police suspect, she had to have been taken by someone.


	28. January 28

"Hurry up!" Hanna whined from the front door. The airplane was super crowded and she hadn't used the toilet since before L.A. Finally, Aria pulled aside the door to see who was banging on her door this early in the morning, and was nearly barreled over by the invading blonde.

Hanna only paused a second in front of the hallway mirror to check out her hair before rushing into the downstairs bathroom reserved for guests.

"I HAVE HUGE NEWS BUT UNTIL I GET OUT CAN YOU TIP OUR GUEST?" She yelled out from her perch as Aria realized she was blocking entrance to a taxi driver who was hidden behind a mountain of chests and luggage bags. It appeared Hanna brought her entire closet with her when she came.

Aria tipped the driver seven dollars and returned the hat stand that got knocked down to its initial position after allowing the man to lug half a tonne worth of luggage into her tiny foyer.

"Where are the kids by the way? I've brought presents!" Hanna smiled as she hugged Aria with her still slightly moist hands after finishing up in the bathroom.

"Well Grace is with Shepherd and my mom and Lilly's stayed home with Emily and Pam because she was feeling under the weather. I think she's a bit anxious because of Emily's little fender bender. The others should be home soon though, mom just took them to the library for a couple of hours. She was on the waitlist for "Amelia Bedelia" and they finally brought it back in."

"Okay, that's fine, great, listen. You'll never guess what I saw on the airplane on the way here!"

"A flying monkey?"

"I didn't mean 'ON' the airplane, I meant in it."

"A normal monkey?"

"Woah, hey, where is this fantastic racism coming from, Aria? What kind of discrimination is that?"

"Sorry, I meant 'a flightless monkey'?"

"Better but still no cigar."

"What did you see then?"

"Paige McCullers!"

"Paige McCullers?"

"Yup, Paige. And she got fat!"

"Hanna!"

"No, you don't get it Aria, her stomach was bulging. If it was anyone else I'd suspect she were up the duff, so you know what I did?"

"Something that wont get you arrested?"

"In the basement at Radley there's some old computers. I'm friends with the best hacker this side of China so I asked Mona to rig these up for me and see if they still work and wouldn't you know it, one of the nurses made a note of her password and next thing I know we're on the internets tracking down Paige's medical history and guess what?"

"You woke up in your bed vowing to stop watching "Person of Interest" before you go to bed at night?"

"Paige is pregnant! She IS up the duff!"

"Holy cow! ... do you think Emily knows?"

"That's not even where the weird stuff ends! I was going to confront her at the airport but I ran into Spencer. I thought she was there to pick her up but they both got into different cars so I had a taxi follow her and wouldn't ya know? So did Spencer! They both got into Emily's house a few minutes after each other. And here's the kicker though! I stopped Spencer's driver before he took off and he said she didn't ask him to follow any other car. She had a text with directions on her phone. Said it was part of a scavenger hunt. Sound like the MO of someone we know to you?"

"A?"

"A!"


	29. January 29

If there's one thing her family taught her, it's how to cover her ass.

Spencer knew going into this that she would be at A's mercy if she went through with her lie. She knew this meant submission. That she would forever be owned. That once she put that label on that blood sample she would forever sell her soul to the devil.

Words have no meaning. It is the way they're uttered that gives them power. The way Spencer voiced hers made A believe that she was on their side enough to trust her with the next part of the mission. She slipped the photos into a different folder and waited by the hospital, smoking the cigarette she hoped would be her last. Suddenly a man approached her asking for a light. She asked for the codeword in the way she was instructed and he answered back in the way he was supposed to as well. She slipped him the photos and he slipped her his key-card. Said he was going to smoke a couple down before he would get back.

This was her cue. She slipped in through the back door and made her way down to the right lab. The white coat she wore granted her unlimited access. She was in and out before his second cigarette hit the ground, his card finding its way back into his pocket, and she drove over to a truck stop, dumping her lab coat in the restroom bins before making her way back home for the night.

Her heart was in her throat, her blood rushing and her fingers shaking by the time she slipped under the blankets and bade the world goodnight. It was going to be at least three hours until her adrenaline gave way to sleep and even longer before she received a message congratulating her and inviting her to meet up, sent by her biological mom.


	30. January 30

**AN:** This is probably the biggest chapter in the entire story. You might want to use the restrooms and sit somewhere cozy for this one.

"Spencer!" Mary Drake called out from the top of the stairs of her palatial estate. After proving herself, Spencer was allowed to know the location of one of their safehouses. This was where she had arranged to meet her biological mom for the time being. "I knew I could count on you! Not like your sisters... Come in, tell me all about it!" She encouraged as she ushered her into a formal lounge room.

"I'm not staying long. I just had a few questions."

"Whatever you want to know, just ask. You're one of us now!"

Spencer bristled at that. She tried to push down the queasy feeling as she put her thoughts in order.

"Is this thing... If I'm gonna work for you all, I need to know who I'm working for. Who's in charge here? And what are they really after?"

"I'm afraid I can't answer that yet. All in due time. But what I can say is that the person in charge is very happy you've chosen the winning side, honey, and looking forward to keeping you around."

"Am I the only one who doesn't know who this person is? I feel like I'm being set up to fail by being kept in the dark" Spencer pushed.

"It's for your own good for the most part. These questions you ask? They aren't exactly information we divulge with everybody. If you found out, you wouldn't be able to ever go back to the way things were before. It's all on a need-to-know basis."

"Well I need to know. How else do you expect me to trust you?"

"The same we we trust you. Only the most loyal in our ranks are trusted with that sort of information. The people who've proved their loyalty. In order to be considered one of us, you have to show us that we can trust you first. You have to do something to earn our confidence."

"Like what?"

"It's not just some task you carry out. You have to really prove your commmitment. You have to change your entire person. You have to cut yourself off from the rest of the world. Do not trust ANYONE. Once you have proved that nothing else matters as much as we do, you'll seize any opportunity to prove it."

"Like Alison? What did she do to prove it?"

"She showed us that self preservation is no longer her main priority, the group is."

"I'm gonna need a lot more than that."

Mary sighed.

"Alison has been eliminating threats to our organization for years now. But to really prove herself she had to get her own hands dirty."

"You mean she's killed someone? Who?"

"You're a bright girl, you can figure it out. In the meantime, there's another job for you."

"What is it this time?"

"Nothing too difficult. We just need you to help burn some bridges between the girls. Starting with Aria. She's always been the least faithful to you and it's time she's suffered the consequences."

"What do you want me to do?" Spencer asked, panicking a little.

"Surprise me."

* * *

Spencer parked her car outside the Montgomery house. She knew she wasn't being subtle but she was Aria's best friend. She didn't really have to hide out there. It wasn't unusual to drop in on her uninvited in the middle of the day.

She carefully surveyed the house and sure enough, Aria was out grocery shopping like she suspected she'd be. It didn't take long to slip in using her spare key and plant a stack of photos in her bag. Photos of her and Emily and Hanna. Photos that made Aria look like A. She slipped out as soon as she had slipped in and it wasn't long before Hanna dropped in for a visit and -while looking for some hand lotion through Aria's bag- found the incriminating prints. A meeting was called and Aria was immediately #1 suspect all over again.

Spencer almost wanted to shout. It was painfully easy to turn them against each other and she knew for a fact if she hadn't known Aria was innocent she would be spearheading the campaign to spy through her stuff. But she took comfort in knowing that at the very least, she knew that Aria was innocent, and had the power to absolve her at any point. But it couldn't happen just yet. She was way too deep in this not to see it through so even though it hurt, she had to cut Aria out completely like the rest of them.

* * *

Aria felt completely alone. She'd never felt like this before. She'd felt completely betrayed by her friends, who refused to so much as look at her or return her calls and tell her why they're even so upset with her. She was completely cast out. She was alone and she was vulnerable and even though she'd never trusted Mona, she'd started to feel a little sympathetic towards the other woman.

Mona hadn't been seen for a while now, Aria realized. Where could she be gone? What would she be doing? Mona could be on the moon right now for all she knows. Maybe it was time to give her a phone call. She's had loads of experience in being a pariah. But Aria never truly forgot her for all she did so she would have to pick someone else to communicate with. Maybe Toby?

* * *

Toby was surprised to see Aria's name light up on his phone's homescreen. It'd been years since he received a call from her. He didn't even know she still had his number. Immediately he picked up his phone and answered. If Aria's calling, then there must be some sort of emergency. However there was no real emergency. Aria was just lonely. He could relate, having been single since the last time he tried it with Spencer.

It did take a while for his heart to heal after the Yvonne/Alex/Spencer debaucle of 17' and Aria wasn't quite surprised that he was still afraid to give things another try. She wondered if he knew about Paige and Spencer, but thought it wiser not to be the one that told him his ex swung both ways now... or at least that she'd been in a relationship -with an old friend of all people- since breaking things off with him. And he made it easy by not asking so Aria just told herself that it was okay not to let him know.

A few nights passed and still nothing. Aria was getting desperate. Toby showed up and they lost control. They both got drunk and one thing led to another. But was it really so terrible? Spencer wasn't talking to either of them. She clearly moved on with her life and decided to cut them both out so was it any business of hers what Toby and Aria did now?

Aria cuddled into Toby's abs as she fell back asleep. This was something that could wait until morning. For now she was free to enjoy not feeling completely alone.

* * *

Spencer was waiting in the same mansion for her biological mother, a few days after setting the trap. She knew it succeeded because of Aria's neverending barrage of messages. "What did I do wrong?" and "Why wont anybody talk to me?" were as common as 'good day' now. It wasn't long before a masked woman let her through into the dining room.

Alex was sat on one side of the table, right across from Alison, and Mary was sitting next to Alex, with an empty seat across from her for Spencer. Spencer sat down across from her and forced herself to nod amicably towards her doppelganger.

"Alex tells me you've succeeded in your task. Shutting Aria down has had a wonderful domino effect that cascaded down to Hanna and Emily. Torn between letting her rejoin the group or not, the two haven't spoken in a while from what I hear."

"So did I pass your little test of allegiance? Have I earned my stripes yet?"

"You did amazing sweetie. So much better than what we would have hoped for. However trust like that is not easily earned. We have another job for you."

"How many jobs do I have to do? How much more do I have to give up to prove that I can be trusted? I've been doing grunt work for a week now, not knowing what it's building up to. Isn't that enough?"

"Just one more thing, Spencer, and I promise you, you can have all the answers you want. But this is a tough job. It's not something to be taken lightly, understand?"

"I understand. And I wont let you down."

* * *

Spencer's hands shook as took in the sight of the room. This was where the farce was supposed to take place. She had already invited Paige and Emily along, and knowing them, she knew that they were both on the way. The timing had to be perfect, yes, but she was assigned a helper with this task; an assistant of sorts who would make sure that Emily arrived on time, and not a moment too soon.

Paige was in first of course. She was always far more prompt. She knew she had a decision to make and that decision involved both Emily and Spencer, but she couldn't stand to face them both at the same time. She'd been sitting on the maternity test results for a few days now, mostly in shock about what they spelled out to her. Could it be really that it was Spencer's child she was carrying then? She was so confused and consumed by guilt and anger and hatred towards A for involving yet another person she loved into all this mess, that she barely noticed her car had arrived at the Hotel Spencer was staying in.

She looked up at the imposing building. A huge skyscraper with her baby's mother right at the top. It felt a bit like a fairytale, though she wasn't sure which part this was. Was she walking into the princess's castle in an attempt to get her happily ever after or was this another trap set up by A? Was she about to be hauled into a dungeon instead? Her dad smiled comfortingly and put his hand on her shoulder. She felt warmth and unconditional love emanate from him. She smiled for the first time in a long while, and unbuckled her seatbelt. She was ready to begin her ascent.

* * *

"Paige! Come in, sit down" Spencer insisted, ushering her in towards the living room. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No thank you. I wont be staying long." Paige replied, smoothing her skirt under herself as she began to sit down. Skirts were much more comfortable than sweatpants now that she was in this state, and she thanked her lucky stars her mother kept a few from her own pregnancy. Nothing too crazy, just a few knee-length, flared pieces, and one or two longer ones. They were real lifesavers, but occasionally they made her feel a bit underdressed. Like right now for example, as Spencer sat down by her side, facing towards her, and put her hands on her back and on her knee, rubbing it in comforting circles.

"Is something wrong?" Spencer asked, seemingly concerned.

"I got the results from the maternity test back." Paige started, her lips going dry when she heard Spencer suck a breath in.

"Is...have you come to let me down gently?"

"No, I... Spencer, the baby is yours."

The room grew silent as Spencer appeared to be taking the information in. Paige tried to keep her eyes on the other woman, even though gravity was doing its darndest to drag them to the floor. Spencer looked white as a ghost. She must not have been expecting that. She must have suddenly realized what this all meant. Paige wanted her to react. She wanted her to scream or yell or do something like that. Anything to let her know what she was thinking but Spencer merely nodded as she poured herself a drink.

"Would you say something? Please..."

"I-what am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know. They don't exactly make guidebooks for this sort of thing."

"I'm pretty sure there's no old wives tales we could apply to this either."

"Or cautionary tale."

"Does it at least come with an instruction manual?"

"I've actually asked!"

"And?"

"No."

"Damn!"

Their play of words lightened the mood a little. Paige settled into her seat and Spencer sat down right by her. She reached around Paige's shoulder and pulled her into a comforting hug. Paige leaned into it and sighed longingly.

"We've really done it now, huh?"

"Can't really come back from knocking up your best friend's girl."

"You think she'll even want to look at us again?"

"We could always fly to Jamaica or something. Just leave tonight and never come back." Spencer smirked.

"I was thinking of crawling into a hole but your offer sounds more tempting."

"Crawl into a hole? Touche. Isn't that what got us into this in the first place? Things crawling into holes they don't belong in."

"Did you really just joke about my medicinal rape?"

"I felt I deserved to get one in."

"You technically already did."

"Now who's joking about rape?"

They felt completely drained. Both emotionally and physically and so Spencer reached over and draped a blanket around them. Between all the running around and stress Paige had been suffering all this time, it didn't take long for her breath to even out and her eyes to droop closed as Spencer channel surfed by her side. By the time she settled on a nature program, Paige had already fallen asleep. Spencer kissed her forehead and pulled her closer. She let herself imagine this was for real just for a second. That the past however-long never happened.

All the drama with Alison and A a distant dream, Spencer imagined somewhere under that blanket, on Paige's finger, that there was a ring. She imagined taking her out for dinner one night and dropping all these hints but never proposing. She imagined walking by a fountain afterwards and stopping to tie her shoe only to get her hopes up but still not proposing. Then she imagined she would take her home and start kissing her all over the place, lead her to the bedroom where she'd find a bunch of flower petals on the bed spelling out "I love you" in a love heart, with the ring in the middle. Paige tearing up as Spencer asked her to marry her.

They'd have a big wedding in Rosewood. Everyone would be invited. Old friends who'd wish them well, and a jealous older sister, who still hadn't found a man. Her mom and dad would make time to come and tell her how proud they are of her, and Paige's parents would definitely be overcome with emotion. She could already imagine Nick McCullers' stern face giving her talk about what exactly he would do if she were to ever hurt his child, and Paige's mom interrupting with cookies when Spencer asked for his daughter's hand. Then all her family helping them out and going shopping with them and helping them plan the wedding.

Dress shopping with Hanna and Aria. Emily would be running late because Alison refused to pitch in with the babies. She'd look conflicted as she sat there while Spencer modeled the clothes she planned to wear when swearing before god that she would love Paige forever. Spencer would feel a little pity for her because she knew that the shoe could easily be on the other foot. She'd take her aside and ask her to be her maid of honor and Emily would cry. She'd take her up because she knew this the closest she'd ever get to standing with Paige at the altar.

They'd go on vacation to the Bahamas. They'd bring all of their friends along because things like that are more fun when they're shared. They'd cruise their way there, and once at Nassau, they'd take guided bike tours, visit the zoo, go to the aquarium, pig beach, find a secluded cavern to make out with and more. It'd be the best adventure of their lives and all their friends will be there to enjoy it with them. Alison of course will stay at the resort and order food in, completely secluded from the rest of them. She'll complain of the heat and how her feet swelled up and she's dizzy from the cruise and all that crap and stay out of everybody's hair.

They'd snorkel and pretend they're going to the waterpark for the kids, when really it's for the children inside themselves. They'd walk on hot coals and partake in loads of touristy traditions. Maybe even braid their hair. Paige would complain of a headache and ask her to help her take her hair out and Spencer's attempt to do so would lead to more lovemaking in their suite. They'd ditch everybody one day so they could make love uninterrupted for 24 hours and everyone will wonder what they're up to, but Aria will blush will pointing out it IS their honeymoon after all, and everyone would realize exactly what went down. Then they'd take a break for dinner and meet up with everyone and wait and see how long it'd take for anyone to point out what's been going on. Hanna would crudely make a joke about how nice it is for them to stop shagging long enough to join them for dinner. Aria would choke on her food and Emily avert her eyes because she wouldn't want to find out from Spencer and Paige's faces if the accusation was true and Spencer and Paige would snicker to themselves, like two schoolgirls with a secret.

Then they'd be back and things would start to eventually settle down. They'd leave the honeymoon phase and return to work and such. Spencer would be stressed. She'd come home less and less. Paige would understand but still feel a little left out. She wouldn't even confront her. Spencer would come home and spot Paige sleeping on the couch and she would pick her up and carry her to bed. She'd offer to make Spencer something to eat but Spencer would insist she's fine and tuck Paige in. She'd cuddle in next to her and make sure she come home early enough to eat with her the next night.

Crises averted, they'd get stronger and closer as a couple until one day someone would make a crack about them having kids and they'd start to consider it. They'd have the talk. Paige would volunteer to take some time off of work to carry their baby and Spencer would thank her with lots of sex and foot massages. She'd be there at the birthing classes and read all the books and she'd put in some extra time at work and take maternity leave along with Paige and stay home and take care of her when she finally has it. They would name him Nick, after Paige's dad who's always quietly supported them, and when Paige was ready she'd bring him to work with her.

They'd be a power couple and amazing parents and it would all start with that ring she could just faintly imagine on Paige's finger.

* * *

Emily dreaded walking up those stairs but she knew she had to find out one way or another. It threw her in for a loop that the baby might not be hers after all, and quite frankly she really wanted it to be hers, because at the very least it would help her broach the subject of getting back together with Paige. If the kid was Spencer's though, Paige might be persuaded to try getting back together with Spence instead, for the benefit of the child. Emily took the stairs two by two, hoping if she could somehow get there before Paige, that the answer might be different.

She presented herself at the lobby of the hotel. A young lady told her the person she seeks to see is currently unavailable and to wait by the lifts for her to indicate when she can come up. She gave her a cold glass of water and sent her off, and as Emily ruminated on the meaning of 'unavailable' she considered how to most effectively beseech Spencer to let her take care of Paige and the child, even if it is hers.

A few moments later she was ushered towards the lift by a concierge. Smiling and handing them a five dollar note, she jumped up and paced to the lift, punching the right number and pacing back and forth, waiting for the lengthy trip to finish so she can pound on Spencer's door and basically beg at her feet to let her have the girl.

She was surprised to find the door open. When hotel rooms take up the entire floor they're usually still divided from the elevator by a door, for the sake of privacy and security, yet this door was wide open and she could even hear the tv playing inside. She took a couple of tentative steps inside the room where upon further inspection, she spotted Spencer and Paige cuddling on the couch, and her stomach dropped like a sack of nails.

"What are you doing?" She asked as she swallowed back a sob. Spencer retracted her hand and rose from the couch, gently placing a pillow beneath Paige, in her stead. She led Emily to the balcony where she closed the door behind her before she even considered answering back.

"Paige was tired okay? She needed a nap."

"Did she need a human pillow?"

"Did you really come all this way to play this jealousy card?"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Ask me what you really want to know. If the baby's mine."

"Is it?" Emily asked, apprehensively.

"Yes." Spencer smiled.

"God-fucking-damn-it."

"Language."

"So now what? I suppose you've offered her a life at the lap of luxury with you. Help for the baby. The finest tennis trainers and German tutors that money can buy."

"You could suppose that."

"And I suppose she said yes."

"Who wouldn't?"

"And I guess there's nothing left for me to do then."

"I guess so."

It seemed like Emily was about to walk away but something within her changed. Something snapped. Instead of opening the balcony door, she just squeezed the handle as she seethed.

"I suppose you're happy with yourself. You 'won' the girl. Even though you had to cheat to get her."

"What?"

"You heard me. If it wasn't for this baby, Paige would have been coming home with me and you know it."

"You don't know that."

"Oh yes I do. See, Paige and me have a special connection. You? You're just a rebound. A throwaway. Someone she's with when she can't get the real thing." Emily snarked.

"That's a lie!"

"Is it? How much money did you have to offer her to get her to stay? How many times did you get on your feet and beg? Did you pull out some research about how biological mothers help kids succeed in life in a way adoptive ones can't? I bet you went full Spencer with your research to get her to stay."

"That's enough now."

"Oh, you can dish it out but you can't take it, huh? What about this kid? How long do you think you'll get to slide into Paige's pants using the kid as leverage? At most you'd get 18 years. Then the kid's off to college and you will never hear of either one of them again."

"Shut up!"

"That's what it's come down to? Paying for it. I'm sure your parents expected better of you."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Spencer lunger forward and slapped Emily right across the face. The commotion startled Paige, who woke up in time to see Emily retaliate by shoving Spencer, who slipped, and fell right off the side of the balcony. Emily froze. The only thing she registered was Paige's scream. And before she knew it she was on the floor, Paige dragging her up by her jacket as she sobbed "What did you do?" repeatedly. But Emily did not-could not reply- as she was catatonic.

* * *

Spencer's funeral.

Everyone was there.

The Hastings, the Marins, the Montgomery family... The women in a huddle, Veronica howling in anguish, propped up by family. Melissa curled into a ball by the coffin. It was a closed coffin. The fall ensured that there'd be no final 'viewing' per se. Emily wasn't there. Paige had been driven here from the hospital. She was in a wheelchair. The excess stress caused complications in the pregnancy and Paige was to be monitored 24-7. Aria and Hanna eyed each other sadly from across the room, and Pam bitterly stared at the empty seat by her side.

Almost everyone was there.

Emily's trial was quick. The Hastings had her dead to rights. Her emotional state the only complication. A good case was made for temporary insanity, further backed by her state of catatonia but the Hastings wanted to push until they got justice. Ultimately Emily received a lengthy stay in an asylum for the criminally insane, with possibility of movement to a prison if her mental health ever improved.

Aria and Hanna put their differences aside and both sat down on either side of Paige, each taking one of her hands in theirs and promising to help in any way they can. It is, after all, what Spencer would have wanted.

Mary Drake smirked at her own reflection on the tv screen. She wrapped an arm around Spencer and giggled as she pointed at Veronica. "SOME-body couldn't keep their hands off of the buffet. Look how big she's gotten! Brings a whole new meaning to 'wailing'."

Spencer swallowed down her revulsion at Mary's insult towards her mother as she thought up a good rejoinder but a third person beat her to the punch.

"Well, they do say that the camera adds ten pounds." Alison added. "How many cameras do we have on Paige though? That's way more than 10 pounds!"

"She's pregnant and you know it" Spencer interjected, drawing a curious exchange of glances between Mary and Alison. "I mean, you should know it, since you're the one that knocked her up!" She smiled at Alison. Alison smiled back and leaned over to ruffle her hair a bit. Spencer fought the urge to break every single finger of that hand and stayed silent.

"Allright. You have definitely gone above and beyond. A true master you are, and that's coming from me. I don't give compliments out. EVER. But that's a real one. You did well young grasshopper." Alison joked as she grabbed her bag and left their security van, fixing her lipstick on the way.

"She's right. You did splendid. And we've decided to reward you handsomely."

"A lamborghini?"

"Something better." Mary Drake smiled as she slipped Spencer an invitation. A red envelope with the lateral and longitudinal coordinates of a party, as well as the time she was to be there. Presumably tonight, she was told her costume was delivered to her room, and that Mary was eager to see her there.

* * *

Spencer put on her black dress and her swan masquerade mask. She put on black lipstick and applied some smokey-eye makeup before packing her stuff away, lighting her old clothes on fire and tipping the bellhop $200. She got in her spider and drove to the coordinates in the envelope. She felt a bit like a spy on a mission. 007. She tried to get rid of the terrible ache in her insides and focus on getting things done as she applied more pressure to the pedal.

* * *

The Rosewood cemetery had two entrances. One was East and one was South. There was a mausoleum where some founding members of the town were buried and pretty much nobody visited, and an old dried up well that people used to smuggle wine through during the prohibition. However, Spencer was to find out there was a third entrance from the West, behind a cafe, that would lead to the underground passages that ran through the town and were used to smuggle goods in during prohibition.

No one knew HOW people used the well, just that they did. They knew it was used to smuggle things but not how. However Spencer had researched it during her childhood on a lark and discovered that the pail had a false bottom people could smuggle bottles through. The well water-back then there was still some left- would keep the beverages cold, and the police would never suspect the cemetery of all places to be a smuggling den.

The entry however eluded her until now. How DID the bottles end up in the pail? Turns out there was a secret system of passageways underneath the entire town, which smugglers used to deliver messages and alcohol to the people of Rosewood. Passages that ran under everybody's houses. A needed only to do a little digging to break into any single one of their places unnoticed. A slab of concrete removed from the Cavanaugh garage went completely unnoticed since it lay under the junker nobody ever got to drive. The Montgomery family had a mouse problem. The entire underside of their house is filled with rodent corpses and mouse traps. The mice carved a massive hole into the pantry -the Montgomery family thought- and snuck into there in the dead of night to pilfer treats.

Under the Marin basement there is a hole that takes one up just behind a couch nobody ever bothered to clean under or behind. And the Spencer wine cellar had been in need of renovation for years. It wont be until Veronica finally gets the motivation to fix up the house and sell it so she can move on -too many memories of her lost daughter in this hellhole- that she'll notice that hole in the wine cellar.

A similar hole was underneath the coffin Spencer was 'buried in'. Spencer herself was not in it, but she wanted to ensure that if anything were to happen to her, the girls would be able to figure out at least one of the things she uncovered before she left them behind. The hole led straight into an alcove in the underground passageway, with a ladder underneath. She claimed she considered being buried alive and leaving the hole open for convenience, in case she was ever dug up and needed to appear to be there. Mary trusted her by now so she barely batted an eye at her odd request so the ladder stayed and so did the hole. However Spencer had no intention of ever climbing into her coffin... at least not while she was alive.

She figured one day her friends might be forced to dig her up and if they do, she wants them to find the entrance to these underground tunnels. Even if they fill up the tunnel, hopefully the hole in the coffin will be a clue. Maybe Aria or Paige will pick up on it even if they do repair the wood, and maybe they'll be able to figure things out for themselves. Spencer didn't know how much longer she had to live. She figured going undercover into the A organisation was a kamikaze mission. That if anyone figured out her real motives they wouldn't hesitate to dispose of her and that every moment she spent down here, the closer she got to being buried (literally).

She parked her car in front of the cafe. She ordered the usual and filled in the purple square in the coloring in book by the cash register, which granted her exit through the back door. She ducked behind the old wine cask and felt around until she found the chain and lifted until she pulled the hatch up, creating an opening in the floor.

There were a lot of people in the passageways tonight, most of which heading in the same direction. Everyone was dressed up for the masquerade and slowly made their way towards the main room, under the cemetery. A rave appeared to be going on where well dressed people danced to weird dubstep music. Walking further into the maze she noticed there were layers to this dance floor. There was the main floor, then stairs leading down to another one with some seating on the sides and finally stairs leading down to a third floor with a piano, bar, and more intimate seating than the other two floors.

Alison took her by the hand - she recognized her dress from before - and dragged her down to the bottom-most floor with her. It was interesting how the noise from the previous two floors was barely a dull thud in this one, even though the top floor was essentially a club. She supposed the noise was easier to contain underground through all these layers of padding they'd installed. The floors themselves were intended to muffle steps and other sounds in order to provide quick, quiet getaways. The same material was applied to the ceiling and walls in order to keep sounds contained better so when Spencer reached the bottom floor, the only thing she could hear was the erudite plunking of piano keys.

She was seated in a booth that was unlike all the others. It was set much more deeply to the point where you couldn't make heads nor tails of it from across the dance floor, and it was curtained off with these big red drapes. She realized it was reserved for some VIPs. It had a velvet rope and everything, and even a pair of bouncers stood outside of it. Her drink arrived with a couple of friends, and she downed a couple of sips to calm her nerves as she realized this could really be it for her. She might finally get some answers.

When Mary Drake arrived a few minutes later, she had an older looking man in tow. His hair was greying, he had that salt and pepper thing going that women of a certain age find irresistible, and he was fit enough for an older gentleman. Spencer couldn't make out his face through the mask but figured he must be handsome because he had to shoot a few women down on his way to their booth. They sat across from her -both beaming- and began the introductions.

"Spencer, you've proven yourself invaluable in the last couple of weeks. We always knew you were the one to really look out for and finally we got the chance to be proven right. The way things went down may not have been ideal for you but I think we have managed to find some mutual benefit in our arrangement. And if you so choose you have a home here for as long as you want it." Mary began. The man next to her nodded along for emphasis. He looked really eager to unveil himself but seemed to wait for some indicator. Perhaps they pre-rehearsed this speech and he was waiting for his cue.

"When you first came to us you had a number of questions. It's only natural, being a curious, genius type as you are to have questions. I am sure you may have worried about being led astray from time to time. I know it took a great leap of faith to trust in us and devote yourself to us without us first investing any of our faith in you but you have managed to commit to the cause and for that, we would like to reward you handsomely." She continued, pulling out an envelope from her Gucci bag.

Spencer unfolded it and looked inside. There were three sets of keys. One was for the marina, the other unlocked a series of safehouses, and the third was Spencer's own property; a sprawling ranch estate in Arkansas. She pulled out the letter explaining the contents of the envelope and felt a micro usb slide out and fall into her hands. The letter explained the micro usb held invaluable information that was not to fall into the wrong hands. Information she was now trusted with. Information about the origins of the A corporation, and their mission and rules and such. Things Spencer could have only guessed at until now. Things she should be aware of for her new promotion.

Mary explained that she could read through the information later as she reached for her hand. Something far more important was about to be explained. The man sitting next to her supplied that he was about to introduce himself and Spencer felt her jaw drop as the man removed his mask and revealed himself to be none other than her father.

"Dad? What are you doing here? What's going on?" She nearly sobbed.

"I've been waiting for you, for quite a while Spencer."

"Why are you here? What's happening?"

"I'm introducing myself. I, Peter Hastings, am the leader of this organisation. I'm A."

* * *

Aria walked home a little after ten. Her visits to Paige were short and uneventful. Hanna usually drove with her and they'd share a coffee and go through some magazines before hugging Paige tight and going their separate ways.

Neither of them had spoken to Emily since the accident. Not that she was allowed visitors anyway. And even if she was, she would've refused to take any. She didn't feel like she deserved to see their faces again after what she'd done to them.

Paige hadn't spoken in general. Hanna tried prodding her and Aria tried cajoling her but she never rose out of her near commatose state. She just sat up in bed, sometimes crying and sometimes furrowing her brow but always absent mentally.

And with Emily in jail, Aria and Hanna felt like it was down to the three of them to raise this child. Aria and Hanna had a meeting one day before the funeral. They talked about what they would do and how best they could help Paige raise the child. First they had to get her to return to reality but Aria insisted that this was a terrible idea considering their reality. Hanna agreed to let Paige take all the time she needs until the birth, in order to help her birth be as stressless as possible, but something nagged at her in the back of her head.

New mothers were usually so excited and happy and despite everything, Paige had previously seemed kind of eager, in the short amount of time she managed to be with Em, before the accident happened, but now she wasn't just closed off from them, but also the baby. Wouldn't it be bad for the baby to not get any sort of response from its mother? And isn't it messed up to basically use Paige as a baby-making-machine when she is clearly suffering?

Aria noticed the distance between them too. She hadn't been around pregnant women a lot, but she recalled pregnant women were keenly aware of their bellies. They were super protective and would absentmindedly rub them from time to time, and talk to their kids but she hadn't seen Paige do anything like that for a while.

Aria thought about Paige's behavior and considered that maybe it was indicative of something that lay just beyond her grasp as she unlocked her front door and entered her place. She barely had time to switch the lights on before she was grabbed from the back by an armed, masked man. She struggled and almost got away from him once before her vision started to blur. She was close to reaching her phone but before she could grab it, she was yanked back and thrown against the floor, her screams muffled by a hand that forced a towel doused with chloroform down her throat, both chocking her and causing her to pass out.

* * *

Spencer was stunned. Her world had turned upside down. She thought she was ready for anything but this was far beyond what she could handle. She looked her father in the eye, silently begging him to reveal that he were joking and that this was all an elaborate prank but he just sat there, staring back, daring her to react.

Mary placed a comforting hand on Spencer's shoulder.

"I'm sure it can be quite the shock. Definitely not what you imagined. But try to keep an open mind, here."

"What? How could you do this to me? How can you be A?" Spencer rambled incoherently "All this time... the kidnappings and torture? How can you be behind all of that?"

"I wanted you to be strong. I knew you were capable of taking care of yourself and everybody else you loved, but how willing were you to put yourself first? This is sink or swim, Spencer. I needed to know you could take care of yourself."

"So you tortured me? And my friends? For years!"

"I know it seems that way, but everything I did, was for your own good. Things are not as black and white as they appear."

"Does mom know? Melissa? Are they a part of this too?"

"No, they would never be on board with this sort of thing. I knew that Mary had her doubts as well, about you, so I let her in on it, and Alex and Alison? Well, they're little hellraisers. But Melissa and Veronica would never do a thing to harm you, even if it was for a good cause. Me? I'm old school. Back in the day, the Spartans used to challenge their offspring in order to make sure they grow up strong. They used to make them work for things but these days? Everybody's so soft. I needed to know you would be capable of doing what had to be done before I left everything to you."

"I don't understand."

"I'm dying, Spencer. And I need you to take on the family business. I've only got three months left to live at best. I hope you understand."

"What? No! This is all so much to take in..."

"I know it's hard but I wanted to make sure you'll be ready for anything."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"You see, this 'A' thing was never meant to be permanent. It was only supposed to train you. There's real danger, yes, but it's not me or Mary Drake you have to look out for... Our company... we've made connections, and bridged gaps but we have plenty of enemies. The Carrisimi group didn't suddenly appear, they've been around for centuries, and they're part of a secret order; like those Freemasons and the Illuminati. We don't have any notion of conquering the world, nothing nefarious like that, but we do have a vested interest in self preservation. Our members have been hunted like witches by the members of another order, and we have no way of defending ourselves."

"Why?"

"It's all down to some old family vendetta. You can find the details in our chronicles. But basically the gist of it all -the reason you and your friends were targetted the way you were- was to prepare you for what is coming."

"Why us?"

"The Montgomerries, Marins, Drakes and Fields are all members of the Carrisimi group. They have different standing in our secret society but they're all full-fledged members of our group."

"So Em and Aria and Hanna are-"

"They're Carrisimi members too. They just don't know about it yet. I suspect they're close to having this same conversation with their parents any moment now."

"You said something's coming. What's coming?"

"A war of sorts. The last of its kind. We are close to wiping out our enemies. We have them cornered and they're down to their last five. However they've been draining all our resources to find and hunt down. We need to put an end to them because they are all out for blood. However doing so will be our own undoing and there are certain members in our faction who are hoping to delay all that. They like living this way and enjoy the perks of being in the Carrisimi group. But the rest of us just want to end this eternal struggle and move on. That's where you come in, and this is why you had to fake your death."

* * *

Paige's father picked up her bags as her mother helped her into a wheelchair. The doctors cleared her for home recovery a few minutes ago, and the taxi driver had just texted that he was outside. With their paperwork up to scratch, the McCullers clan started their languid journey.

Paige stared off into the distance for the most part. She hadn't said a word or even responded in any way today. No nods or mumbles. Not even a greeting. She just sat there, staring ahead.

There was a brief moment where her wheelchair was stopped beside the curb and she considered rolling forward, and out onto the road while nobody was looking but alas she just continued to stay still, and stare out onto the road.

It was while she was staring off that she noticed a glint of silver. A cloud had rolled beneath the sun, blocking its rays for a moment and distorting them, causing to bounce off a small electronic device hidden in the tree across the road from her. Paige blinked once, twice, and it was gone, but she didn't forget the thing she thought she saw there.

Travelling home, she couldn't help but stare all around, surreptitiously. She noticed a similar glint off a tree a couple of streets down and another just a few more blocks away.

She arrived about an hour after she left the hospital due to heavy traffic and her family stopping to pick up a few things here and there. She slowly made her way upstairs to her room. She sat down in her bed and eyed the place, as if she were looking at it for the first time. There was a glint by the door and another by the window.

Paige curled up into a ball as she tried to weigh her options. Those glints were probably cameras. Usually unnoticeable in the day's hubbub, but now that she took a few moments out of her busy schedule, she started to begin to see them. If they were here and on the roads, then odds are they'd be at work as well. There were probably very few places where she could find some privacy and fewer places where she could hold a conversation with someone but she still had to try to communicate this news... but to whom?

Her parents couldn't know for their own protection. If this was A, then telling them could be catastrophic. The only people she felt like she could turn to about these things were gone now. Suddenly she felt all alone. Hanna and Aria were her only hope but neither of them had been answering their phones recently.

* * *

Hanna, Aria and Emily stood in the entry level foyer of the Carrisimi group's skyscraper building. They wore their customary black hoodies and sweatpants and stared off into the abyss. They had all received the speech and were awaiting their squadron leader before they could embark on their quest.

Spencer walked in wearing her red coat. Emily clenched her hand into a fist as she fought off the urge to punch her for all the pain she's caused her and Paige. Aria and Hanna were surprised the rumors were true and instinctively ran up to her and wrapped her up in a big hug. When all that was finished, she turned towards Emily and they share a nod of understanding. Emily knew that she would be the one standing there if the shoe was in the other foot so she simply nodded back and waited for instructions.

Three days had passed since they all found out and they were on their first mission together; to carefully weed out any insurgents in their ranks while the group finalized plans for their last attack. Emily eyed Spencer cautiously. They hadn't had a chance to have their talk yet but it was coming. For now, she would do as instructed in order to keep her family safe.

The Carrisimi group had deep ties in the community. Ties that broke Emily out of prison quietly in the middle of the night. Ties that freed her and promised to make her entire case disappear. She had no idea how, but now the answer was staring her in the face. She can't be convicted of a murder that never happened. However, if anything were to happen to Spencer between now and the time she finally revealed she was alive, then all suspicions would fall on her so now she lived with the added responsibility of ensuring the safety of the person who sent her to jail.

It was a raw deal, and everyone knew it. However now was not the time for squabbling. They had a job to carry out.

* * *

It wasn't the best idea she'd ever had but it was definitely not the worst.

She tried visiting Hanna but she was out of town. Aria was far too busy with work to even reply and Spencer was gone so the only one left? Her only hope was Emily.

She tried to be diplomatic but she knew that once she saw her she would get emotional so she asked her dad if he could be there with her. They picked a day and drove to Rosewood penitentiary but all that was for naught because they were rejected at the door. Emily was in solitary confinement for throwing down with a guard.

Paige couldn't believe it was true. For one it was a strange coincidence that they would all be unavailable, and she suspected some foul play by A. There were cameras all over the prison, but that was to be expected, yes, but the camera in the planter outside Hanna's apartment was not. Paige nodded and walked solemnly back to her father's car. He assured her that they'd get to the bottom of this as they drove home but she wasn't so sure she'd ever get answers. Not only was A as elusive as ever, but being cut off from the only people who may have any information? That stung.

She was lost in thought while a duo of firefighters redirected her father's car down an alley, and pulled them over. She hardly noticed them exchanging information with her father. Nothing seemed amiss, though she did wonder how the second firefighter could afford Givenchy sneakers on a firefighter's salary. Apparently there was a gas leak in their car and as a precaution, Paige and her father were to be given some oxygen through a nebuliser while waiting for paramedics to arrive.

Everything happened so quickly. The masks were affixed to their faces and a sweet smelling vapour rose through the air hose. Paige remembers breathing it in for a while before everything went black.

* * *

The girls were at the Carrisimi bar. The place Mary took Spencer to the other night. Where she found out the truth.

They had worked through a quarter of the organisation and only had about 30 people left to investigate. Spencer had Aria and Emily in charge of surveilance, while Aria worked on the social aspect, getting to know everybody and Spencer dug up dirt on everybody working with them.

They were almost done relaying information when a waiter brought them a new round of drinks. Alison waved at them from across the bar, and winked. They didn't think much of it, and continued their exposition while the sleeping pills in their juices made their way through their digestive tracks.


	31. January 31

AN: This is the last one in this series. I'm open to the idea of one shots or whatever on it but this is it for now. It is very dark and very disturbing, I'm warning you now, so if you're squeamish just skip to the end.

Spencer groaned as she sat up in bed... no, not bed... it was... it was the Dollhouse.

Panicked, she ran to the door, only to find it ajar. Not wasting any time, she burst through the door and ran into the next room and the one after that and so on, gathering her friends as she ran by. Finally they ran to the pit where Mona was once kept, only to find it empty, and then at last they dashed back to the games room.

There was an awful feeling of foreshadowing as she spotted the operation game on the table. With shaky hands, she pulled the board out of the box, noting to her horror that a cutout of a picture of Paige replaced the face of the patient, 'Cavity Sam'.

There was an advent calendar next to this game. Instead of numbers, she found stickers of body parts corresponding to the plastic pieces that were to be removed from the patient.

Each girl took turns playing the game. Emily removed Paige's broken heart and Spencer took out her wish bone and her charley horse. Hanna got the brain freeze and Aria the writer's cramp. And piece by piece they filled the advent calendar. When the last piece was inserted and the little drawer pushed back in, a final drawer popped open in the back, with a little key.

The key opened a small dollhouse. There were several dolls inside, each representing one of the girls. The Dollhouse looked exactly like the one they were in right now, only this one had a basement level, which one could only enter through the pit of death.

The dolls each had a drawstring at their backs. Pulling them in the correct order opened a passage leading from the pit into the basement. In the basement was a doll holding a baby. These two dolls were covered in ketchup.

The girls raced back to the pit. They spoke a random word in the correct order but nothing happened. They tried singing to no avail. Finally they tried reciting poetry. Something about the iambic pentameter made a door on the side of the pit rattle open. They followed the dark passage-way all the way to a cavernous room.

It was huge and empty and dark and the girls lost their way -and each other- several times before they reached the other end.

The next room was so bright that they were temporarily blinded. However they gained their sight soon enough, only to gasp in horror at what they saw.

The were stood in an operating theater. The same one that Paige and Alison were dragged to. Only they weren't alone. They were in the viewing platform of the operating theater and down into the main room, they could see an operation taking place.

Paige was the one on the table and two women -one with dark hair and the other with blonde hair- were beginning to cut into her stomach.

Emily screamed. Spencer pounded against the viewing gallery's mirror. Aria nearly passed out and Hanna nearly threw up. She ran to the door but it was locked. The entire room was sealed from the outside. There was no way through to the operating room, but at least two other entrances to the theater part.

Emily was sobbing as Spencer tugged at the chairs. One was a little loose but still nailed to the floor. She pulled Emily along and together with Hanna they tried yanking the chairs out of place.

They weren't making any headway by the time Aria woke up. In the meantime Paige's stomach was ajar.

Aria ran around the sides of the room, feeling for any hidden entrances. Emily rolled her eyes, not expecting her to make any headway, but Hanna's eyes lit up. She noticed a tiny trace of light coming out of one of the sides of the room and ran to it, quickly finding a crease in the wall, and finding a handhold.

"Over here!" she shouted, and the other girls ran, helping her pull the secret door open. They found a pathway, leading to some stairs. They ran and jumped their way down, and were met with another closed door.

Infuriated, Emily rammed the door, again and again. She was making zero progress however and time was running out. Spencer had nothing to pick the lock with and Aria and Hanna were stumped. It was at that moment they remembered the loose chairs. If they could loosen them a little more, they might be able to get one and use it to smash the lock off the door or something.

Spencer and Hanna ran up, while Aria kept feeling the walls. They managed to pry a chair up and after racing back down, Emily used the chair to smash the door open and they were finally inside.

Spencer tackled the brunette, and Emily made for the blonde one. However the blonde waged a finger at her as she pointed down at her handiwork.

Emily gazed down at the operating table. Paige's stomach was all cut up. The skin of her stomach was pulled aside like a blanket, and the blonde woman's hand was plunged deep into her guts, and wrapped around something delicate.

Emily's heart pounded as she realized just what that was. She swallowed hard as the blonde took off her mask and revealed herself to be Alison. Of course.

Spencer in the meantime, had managed to knock out the brunette -who turned out to be her sister, Alex- and rounded the corner to meet up with Emily, as Hanna and Aria secured Alex.

Emily was shaking. She grabbed a scalpel off the table and pressed it against Alison's throat.

"You do that, I squeeze."

Spencer's eyes followed Alison's arm into Paige's belly, and around her child. She started to tear up.

"Why are you doing this?"

"A couple of reasons.. Boredom, jealousy -though I'll never admit it-, and hate. Why does this bitch get her happily ever after while I lose everything I worked so fucking hard for? Poor little Paige gets to play the victim and gets all you guys, while I lose the team I worked so hard for?"

"You're the mole!" Spencer realized.

"I hate that word. But yes, I'm the one who's been planning to overtake the company from your stupid parents. What do they know anyway? We could do great things with the Carrisimi group and its money. We could start a production company. Imagine my name in bright lights... Anyway, thanks to you that dream is all but gone. Now all I want is revenge."

"Killing Paige or the baby is not gonna help you accomplish that." Spencer retorted.

"Yes it will. It's thanks to this bitch I don't even get a consolation prize."

"I'll give you something better." Spencer replied.

"What could you possibly give me to make it worth everything?"

"I'm prone to take over the Carrisimi group. My father has been preparing me for that eventuality. Soon he will die and the business will go to me. I can sign over the company if you want. Your dream can still come true. Just walk away. That's all you have to do."

"Yeah right. Why would you do that for me?"

"Because I want to keep the company going anyway."

"Yeah right. Why would you do that when you've got everything? Paige, the baby, and even Emily's on your side, after all that."

"I don't. Paige never picked me, she picked Emily, and as for the baby... I switched the results. It was never mine."

Alison stopped to think for a minute. This was something she could use for sure. If Spencer was alienated from the other girls, then maybe she could turn her against them after all. She loosened her grip around the fetus as she thought about it for a moment.

Spencer made eye contact with Emily, who was now more furious than ever. She pointed at the scalpel in her hand, and then the equipment tray. There was an electric saw on the tray that Emily had dismissed. Spencer pointed at Alison's hand. In her reverie, she'd almost completely pulled her hand out of Paige's stomach and if there was ever a time to make a stand, it was now.

In a fluid motion, Emily threw the scalpel up in the air, distracting Alison. As she reached out with her right hand, Spencer grabbed the saw off the table, switched it on and reached across and inside Paige's stomach, cutting into Alison's other hand, and severing some of her middle fingers. As Alison screamed in pain, Emily pounced on her, tackling her to the ground and smashing her head against the pavement.

Spencer threw Alison's fingers out, and tried to put Paige's guts back in place, as carefully as possible while the girls waited for the police to arrive.

Aria had found the exit, and been sent off to get help.

Hanna tied Alex up with some rope, and used her weight to help keep a struggling Alison on the ground. It was hard to tie her because of all the blood, but they finally managed to make a sort of knot and sort of hogtied her, while they waited for help to arrive.

Hanna ran off to assist Aria, and Spencer and Emily stayed to guard Alex and Alison, and keep a watchful eye on Paige.

Eventually, Alison stopped screaming and settled down leaving Spencer and Emily to have that heart to heart.

"I'm not sorry" Spencer began.

"I know the ends do not justify the means. I did terrible things. I did them because I had to, and part of me did them because I wanted to. I wanted to hate you for winning Paige and I wanted to hate you for coming out on top again, even though you don't deserve her. I wanted to but I can't. I can't hate you, Em, you're my best friend and as much as it kills me that she chose you, I want her to be happy. I want you to be happy too. And even though I'll be unhappy, in a way, it'll be okay because at least I know you will make each other happy. I know you'll never forgive me so I wont ask you to. But I just want you to know that I never stopped loving you. All of you. I did this for us... all of us. I know it's no excuse but it's the truth."

Emily refused to acknowledge Spencer. She just continued to stroke Paige's hair.

Spencer walked away while the sound of sirens filled the room.

"Stay" Emily commanded.

Spencer walked back to the operating table with her head held down.

"I am so mad at you. I don't think I'll ever stop being mad. I can't believe you did that. You just sold us out like that... But I get it. I hate that I get it but I do. And I know that I would do the same if I was in your shoes. Which just makes me angrier. How did everything get so fucked up?"

"I don't know, Em."

"Stay. We'll figure this out, okay?"

Spencer teared up as she saw the sympathetic look Emily threw towards her. The first responders on the site wheeled Paige away as Emily lurched forward and wrapped Spencer in a great big hug. They were alive. They were all alive. And it would be hard. The road to recovery would be very lengthy and difficult but they were alive, and the nightmare was over.

Spencer held Emily as they sobbed. Aria and Hanna joined in. They held each other to confirm that this was really happening. That it was really over. Part of them couldn't believe it.

They only broke apart when they were forced to by the paramedics, who needed to bring them to the hospital.

* * *

It's been months since that night and Spencer still has nightmares about it.

Most of the time she blocks things out with medicine but today was tough.

It was cold and dreary and just very mundane and her therapy was going nowhere.

She poured herself a tea and sat in the lounge room, by the couch.

Her father passed away last month. They handled the funeral well. Mary showed up, and so did Veronica, out of respect. The Carrisimi group was disbanded. There were massive pay-offs to everyone involved.

A sizable investment was made in the name of Alison's kids. She hadn't stepped foot outside of prison since. She had Alex in there for company. Spencer didn't know what they were doing but she knew it couldn't be good. She slept with a knife under her pillow on most nights.

Aria and Toby.. that was surprising but Spencer honestly felt happy for them. He was a great guy, and he deserved to be happy. She needed help and he was all-too-eager to provide it. They melded together well, with their love of reading and so on, and he was a great father to his stepkids.

Hanna went back to work slowly over time. She kicked old bad habits to the curb because she only had one life. She still remained friends with everyone, though she saw them a lot less, apart from Mona.

And Emily moved in with Paige. She couldn't get out of that shithole fast enough. And Spencer? She followed suite.

None of them had to work ever again, which was why Spencer decided to focus on self improvement. She's been going to counselling sessions everyday for the last few months. When she moved out West, she thought it would be temporary but she actually found herself settling in really well.

She wanted to stick near Paige. She felt protective of her, especially since that night in the Dollhouse. She had to find a place nearby. There was a beautiful seaside mansion in California that beckoned her. It wasn't long before they all moved in.

Wherever Paige went, so did Emily, and when Paige decided that she wouldn't decide, Emily accepted that. Perhaps it was because she experienced losing Spencer. Perhaps it was the love that never went away but Paige had no intention of leaving either woman behind. She knew it was strange and that her parents would definitely need to adjust to it but she didn't mind.

Emily was healing too. She was still really angry at Spencer but deep down she missed having her around. Thinking she was dead, no matter for how short a time, made Emily feel like there was a hole inside her heart and now that Spencer was back, even though she was upset, she was also really glad.

They first few nights they slept in separate beds.

But gradually they found themselves being drawn together. They'd hold movie nights on the veranda and then cuddle up on the couch together and carry on watching movies until the morning. Then they'd watch the sunrise and drink tea and nap and take walks along the beach. Then come home and nap and eat and play house and try to forget what happened to them.

It was Spencer that cracked first. She was having nightmares ever since she caught wind of Alison being moved from a maximum security prison. She worried she'd escape during the journey to her new home. She went three days without sleep. That's when Emily approached her. They had a big blow-out fight that ended in Spencer crying and admitting she was scared.

If Alison went after them again, she didn't know how she would deal with it.

Paige was the one that suggested they all get help. It was the healthiest thing they could do and with the baby coming any minute now... they couldn't afford to be losing their shit.

Spencer'd been going to Dr Hwang for a month now. He was a good psychologist but her scars ran deep, and they couldn't be smoothed so easily.

Emily kept a lot of things bottled up and between the three of them, Paige seemed the healthiest, but in reality she was an anxious mess, her PTSD having returned, and she only seemed to be keeping it together, because she only panicked when they were apart.

They got away, but they didn't get away scot-free.

Spencer stared off at the sea as she heard slow padded footsteps make their way downstairs.

Paige's water broke.

It was time.


End file.
